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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25882888">We’re not permanently broken.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/holy3cake/pseuds/holy3cake'>holy3cake</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Saw (Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Everyone Is Gay, F/M, Falling In Love, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Healing, Love Confessions, M/M, Multi, Non-Canon Relationship, Some Fluff, Traumatic Experiences bringing people together, some gore</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-20 08:35:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>23,007</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25882888</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/holy3cake/pseuds/holy3cake</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After the grizzly events that John Kramer inflicted on these men, do they truly have the ability to heal again? Or is every little thing a constant trigger of what they previously went through?</p><p>Will Ryan be able to look at the man he was prepared to kill for Dina?<br/>Will Brad ever forgive Ryan for the damage he inflicted? </p><p>Find out more in this fanfiction, rated M for mentions of gore and scenes of a sexual nature. Please be advised.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Brad/Ryan (Saw), Mallick Scott/Brit Stevenson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The right decision?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Okay wow, this is the first time I’ve actually written a Saw fic, and I’m very nervous haha! My usual stuff is fluffy content, but this’ll be a little darker! Also I hope this fandom isn’t completely gone, I hope I can get like 1 kudos! If you are reading this, please do let me know if you want me to continue! If not, I’ll be grateful for 1 kudos or review! Thanks everyone, please enjoy! I’ve seen a few Brad x Ryan fics here, but I wanted to revive it as they are my favourite couple!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>“I think we’re breaking up with you, Dina!” </em>
</p><p>The last words Brad had heard before the saw sliced through Dina’s body still echoed in his head every night. They were filled with anger and rage at Dina’s toxic nature, and the decision to kill her still haunted him. Her screams rang  in his ears as he slept, and he saw her pale motionless face as she hung above himself and Ryan. Her intestines had all but escaped as she was severed fiercely, her death still painfully slow but finally over. It was the first time he’d ever seen a dead body, and at first he was certain it would’ve been Ryan’s. But Ryan’s last minute decision had saved them both, and cut the ties that John had encouraged them to remove. He had been temporarily distracted by Dina’s cries for help, and claims that she loved him. But he knew deep down that she’d say anything, it wouldn’t be the first time she played the two men off against each other. Even though they had managed to separate themselves from her clutches, the sight of her cold dead body sawn in half still haunted him, and he woke up with a loud shriek.</p><p>“FUCK! FUCK!” Brad woke up in his bed screaming the entire house down. Luckily he lived alone, but sometimes it was worse to wake up in the dark room without anyone to comfort him. He’d moved houses since Dina, when he found out she’d been having sex with Ryan in his own bed, and he also wanted to forget any remnant of her. It had been a month since she died, but the nightmares only got stronger. He shivered in the bed and reached for his phone, scrolling through contacts. There wasn’t many in his phone, and he was aware that it was 4 in the morning so he didn’t expect a reply. But his finger hovered over a name he only wished he could delete.</p><p>Ryan. That little fucker he wished he could just throw to the wind. But the truth was that Ryan was the only one that truly knew what he’d gone through, because he’d also seen Dina’s horrific murder. The two of them were responsible, or they would be if Jigsaw hadn’t organised the whole thing. Sooner or later both of them would’ve ended up in jail, possibly in adjoining cells. The crimes they committed were of the same nature, stealing and sometimes assault. But nonetheless, as he lingered over the contact he still wasn’t sure if Ryan would want to talk to him. He only had the number because he overheard Ryan telling the police. He thought Ryan might think him a stalker, but eventually he gave in and rang him.</p><p>***</p><p>Laying in a whorehouse in downtown New York, Ryan groaned sleepily as he heard his phone ringing. Hookers were strewn around him, passed out or mumbling some incoherent words. He only went there to try and numb the constant feeling of horror from seeing a dead body. An unknown number flashed on his phone, and he answered with a groggy voice, tainted from alcohol and drugs.</p><p>“You’ve reached Ryan…..who’s this…”</p><p>“H-Hi Ryan….um please don’t hang up but it’s Brad..” A timid voice spoke softly on the other line. It took Ryan a couple of seconds before he snapped back into reality. It was the one person he’d never expect to hear from again. Standing up, he thrashed through crowds of women and men alike, heading towards an empty table so he could hear the call.</p><p>“B-Brad? This is a surprise..”</p><p>“I-I know…..but I had to call. I’ve been having these nightmares…..and you’re the only one who knows what its like….” Brad’s voice was filled with sadness and pain, the feeling was all too familiar.</p><p>“Do you want to meet up? I get them too.”</p><p>“Sure…It’s almost 6am. I know this little coffee shop that opens early. I’ll text you the address.” Brad replied and Ryan nodded to himself, despite Brad not being able to see him. He hung up and soon received the address of the shop, but shook his head. He knew he wasn’t in any state to go out just yet, he reeked of cheap perfume and stale booze. He wondered over to a dressing table and brushed his hair, squirting some random guy’s deodorant on himself. His clothes from the night before were scrunched on the floor so he tried to straighten them out before seeing Brad. When he looked presentable, he made his way towards the coffee shop, brushing his jeans as he went. He also added Brad as a contact on his phone, still unsure of how the younger man got his phone number. Either way, he swallowed his question as he entered the shop. Brad was sitting alone in the corner nursing a small latte. He looked awful, his eyes were dark and he obviously hadn’t slept in days. As he trembled, Ryan ordered a glass of water and sat opposite him.</p><p>“Hi.” He said softly as Brad met his gaze. Brad also noted that Ryan looked worse in a different way, whilst he was presentable he had red eyes and bad breath.</p><p>“You look like shit.” Brad replied, sipping his drink. Ryan chuckled, running a hand through his greasy hair.</p><p>“So do you. I guess neither of us will be smiling for a while, huh?” Ryan played with his glass while Brad looked at the table.</p><p>“How are you spending your freedom anyway? Did Dina’s death give you a new perspective on life?” Brad said bitterly, still a little angry at her betrayal. He jumped when Ryan laughed loudly.</p><p>“Booze and hookers. I guess jigsaw would be pissed about that right?” He laughed again at Brad’s shocked face.</p><p>“Do you want him to put you in another fucking trap? Jesus Ryan, you’re a fucking asshole. I haven’t been able to sleep for weeks and you’re putting your dick into random prostitutes! DID IT ALL MEAN NOTHING TO YOU?!” He gripped the front of Ryan’s crumpled shirt, causing Ryan to grab his hands. Brad’s outburst had caught him by surprise, and he was sure the younger man could feel him shaking.</p><p>“B-Brad! Calm down! It’s over!” He held Brad’s hands tight and stared into his eyes. Brad was having some kind of panic attack, or maybe he’d developed PTSD. But he felt an overwhelming urge to protect him and his crushing grip on his hands only made Brad feel even weaker. He panted hard and trembled madly as Ryan grasped his hands. The coffee shop faded and he was back in the trap, watching Dina scream. Reality had been distorted, and all he was sure of was two firm hands anchoring him to the surface. Ryan watched him as his knees gave way, and he caught him before he could hit the floor. He put his arms around him as Brad sobbed madly, his sobs turning into shrieks against Ryan’s large torso. Luckily the staff in the coffee shop were too preoccupied with a stock check to notice, and they were the only customers. Ryan stroked Brad’s thick curls and felt Brad burying deeper into his shirt.</p><p>“Brad, ssshhh. Listen, it’s finished. The game is over. We won, we survived. Jigsaw can’t hurt you anymore, I swear. You’re okay.” Ryan whispered softly. He wasn’t sure if his words were getting through to the terrified man in his arms, but he needed to make sure Brad knew he was there. Maybe Brad had more of a conscience than himself, but Ryan hadn’t developed any kind of trauma from the game. Perhaps because he didn’t care for Dina as much as he’d thought, as the nightmares he himself had were because he’d injured Brad. He had nightmares about Brad, which he only realized as he held him close. It was a strange feeling, but he didn’t have time to think about it as Brad looked up at him. His shaking had stopped, but his big tearful eyes tugged on Ryan’s heartstrings.</p><p>“D-Do you promise?”</p><p>“Promise.” Ryan held out his little finger and wrapped it around Brad’s. Brad looked at their entwined fingers and sighed softly, somehow grounding himself on this small action. He continued staring at him, embarrassed that Ryan had held him like that during an episode. Wiping his eyes with his free hand, he kept his finger looped through Ryan’s.</p><p>“Do you want to come to my house for a shower? You smell really awful.” Brad chuckled tearfully. Ryan laughed at Brad’s attempt to diffuse the situation.</p><p>“Yeah, I’ll come over.” Ryan smiled and knew that Brad only wanted him to come over so he wasn’t alone. But he was more than happy to keep him company. His overwhelming urge to protect him hadn’t faded away yet.</p><p>
  <em>Are we friends now? </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Baby Steps</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>If anyone is still reading, please enjoy! &lt;3</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Linking pinkie fingers became a regular routine for Ryan and Brad, it acted as a survival line when the other needed grounding to the universe. Brad was subject to regular panic attacks, and Ryan had a problem with intimacy. Suffice to say, Dina had hurt them more than even Jigsaw had anticipated. But ever since she had dropped out of the triangle, both men were finding solace in the other’s entwined little finger. Ever since Ryan had accompanied Brad home, they had started hanging out more and more. They’d been friends for three months. One particular night the two of them were playing video games, and Brad panted out in frustration.</p><p>“Fuck sake Ry! We’re getting crushed!” Brad complained as he stabbed as controller, but Ryan’s slow jabbing only earnt them third place, which although considerably better than his last attempts, Brad was still annoyed. As the screen powered down, Brad threw his remote on the floor.</p><p>“That was awful. You suck.” Brad punched his arm playfully, and Ryan grinned at him.</p><p>“I’m sorry. My reflexes aren’t what they used to be.” He giggled.</p><p>“What are you, 80? Reflexes my ass. You’re distracted today.” Brad picked up a pillow and hugged it. Ryan sighed deeply and looked at him.</p><p>“Is it that obvious?” He replied, picking up a pillow and burying his face into it.</p><p>“You’re pretty easy to read. What’s up?” Hearing Brad’s question made Ryan bury his face even deeper, speaking only into the soft depths of the feathers.</p><p>“My mom texted me today…..asking about Dina….she doesn’t know what happened….” He whispered shakily, but Brad still heard him and sighed sadly.</p><p>“Were you guys that serious she met your parents?” Brad edged over and pulled Ryan’s pillow off him, forcing him to look him in the eyes.</p><p>“It was her idea of a sick joke. She told my parents that she’d be a perfect wife and all this bullshit. Then when we got back to the apartment, she laughed in my face and told me that my parents are assholes.” Ryan shrugged and rolled his eyes at the memory. One of Dina’s twisted mind games, but it wasn’t the worst stunt she’d pulled. Brad patted his back, a sympathetic look in his eyes as he did so.</p><p>“How long did you date her?”</p><p>“3 years. On and off. You?”</p><p>“5 years. Mostly on, but she had a wandering eye. You know that.” Brad shrugged, this time meeting Ryan’s soft gaze.</p><p>“Why are we so fucking stupid…..” Ryan held his head in his hands, panting softly. Raising his eyebrow, Brad sighed and held his hand out, offering his pinkie. Ryan linked with him again, but kept his other hand on his messy fringe. Still hearing his friend’s slightly elevated heartrate, Brad leaned back on the sofa and looked at the ceiling.</p><p>“Hey Ryan? You might think Dina made you do stupid things, but I bet it’s nothing compared to what I did.” He confessed, seeing the blonde mass of hair look over at him.</p><p>“I did time for that bitch. I stole shit, I beat up guys that looked at her. What’s worse than going to prison for her?” He questioned curiously, as Brad’s eyes flickered.</p><p>“You really want to know?”</p><p>“Yes!” After Ryan’s growing curiosity, Brad sighed deeply and scooted even closer, playing with a thread on his long-sleeved shirt.</p><p>“I know why Jigsaw wanted me to kill Dina. Or…I think I do. I did all that stuff too, stealing and fighting. But……Dina had a worse grip on me. She was so poisonous that….she enjoyed doing this to me.” Brad took a deep breath and rolled his sleeve up, the cool air making his hairs stand on end. All along his wrist were scars, some small and shallow, some long and deep. They were bloody and crude, some refusing to heal and some blending in with his skin like veins. It wasn’t a pretty sight, but Ryan barely blinked. He just stared intently. His eyes surveyed each scar, and he gently traced a light one with his finger tip. Brad’s grip on his pinkie tightened, and his eyes were already welling up.</p><p>“Did she use glass?” Ryan met his eyes, a strange hint of recognition was hidden beyond his iris. Brad nodded slowly.</p><p>“Glass. Metal. Knives. Whatever she wanted. I just…let her do it. Sometimes I was worried that she might actually kill me one day….but she always made sure she inflicted enough pain to make me beg…beg her to stop…” As his breathing became uneven, Ryan pulled back for a moment and pulled his shirt off. Brad frowned for a moment, but gasped when Ryan held his own arm against him, mirroring his scars. The only difference between them, was that one of Ryan’s scars had been cut straight into his vein, and had scabbed over badly.</p><p>“I went to hospital for two weeks. I had sepsis, she cut me so hard with a rusty piece of metal. I guess we’re both fucked up, huh?” Ryan laughed, but his tone was full of despair. Brad sniffled and stroked along Ryan’s deepest scar, barely flinching.</p><p>“Ryan, you saved our lives. If it wasn’t for you….we’d still be with her. She’d still be torturing us, maybe even killing us. Thank you.” Brad said, his voice only raising a little above a whisper. They both sat quietly for a few moments, tracing the other’s wrists gently. Ryan hissed a little at the pain when Brad touched his deepest cuts, but he found comfort in the touch, no matter how raw his wounds were. When he glanced upwards, he found Brad’s blue eyes fixed on him.</p><p>“Why are you staring at me?” He goaded gently, running his thumb over Brad’s deepest scar. Brad jumped a little and looked away, shrugging.</p><p>“I hated you. I wanted to kill you. Now…..I’d kill for you.” Brad pulled his arm away hastily, rolling his sleeve back down. Ryan blinked, unsure of what he’d just heard.</p><p>“You’d kill for me? I feel flattered…” Ryan smirked a little, then felt a pillow hit him in the face.</p><p>“Don’t get so excited. I’m just saying. Just fucking forget it.” Brad sighed and stood up, heading towards the kitchen. Ryan joined him and perched on the counter.</p><p>“Can you not put your ass all over my preparation area please? And put your damn shirt back on!” Brad snarled, as Ryan grinned and jumped down, throwing a spoon at him.</p><p>“Brad? Are we friends?” He said suddenly, leaning against his back. Their pinkies soon found their way back to each other, and Brad smiled softly.</p><p>“Yeah, of course.”</p><p>“Do you think we’ll forget her, one day? Even after it all?”</p><p>“I can’t tell you that. But I do know that we’re stronger now.” Brad turned around and pressed into his bare chest, just burying himself for a moment. Ryan smiled and detached their fingers, instead putting his arms around the smaller man. As they held each other, they just inhaled the calm atmosphere, soothing the chaos they’d been through.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Hugs are healing</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Hello there lovelies! I know only a couple of people read this, but if you've just tuned in thank you for looking and reading! I appreciate every little kudos or comment so loads of love to you all! &lt;3</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Despite the pain and trauma, after six months of close friendship Brad and Ryan began to rebuild their lives. Brad had lost his job after going to prison for Dina, but he finally got a job in a café, a few hours a week. It only just covered his rent, but he was getting financial support. It took his mind off his thoughts to serve coffee and the occasional cake. But as he started his shift that morning, he put his apron on and heard the bounding footsteps of his best friend.</p><p>“Hey, what are the chances of a free cake?” Ryan smiled, leaning on the counter. Brad rolled his eyes and poked his elbow with his pen.</p><p>“Slim. Come on, I have actual customers to serve.”</p><p>“Do you? Place seems empty to me.” Ryan faked looking around the shop and smirked when he was rewarded with an angry grunt.</p><p>“Okay fine, we just opened. But seriously, get out.”</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“Because you’re distracting me.” Brad started cleaning tables and sighed when Ryan sat down.</p><p>“Will you still come over tonight?”</p><p>“I will, if you clean your apartment. It reeked so bad last time.”</p><p>“Awww, I thought you liked the smell of old socks and pizza?” Ryan grinned when Brad threw a dirty cleaning rag in his face. When he took his off, he noticed one of Brad’s colleagues behind the till staring at him. She was a small brunette, and she always became a giggling mess whenever Ryan visited the café. Following Ryan’s gaze, Brad sighed deeply and rolled his eyes.</p><p>“Oh my god, stop flirting.”</p><p>“Flirting?”</p><p>“Didn’t you know? She has a crush on you. I hang out with you all day, then I have to listen to her at work. Will I ever get rid of you?”</p><p>“I guess I should let her down…”</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“Brad……we’re not talking about this here. You know why.” Ryan stood up, sighing deeply. Brad bit his lip and gripped his sleeve.</p><p>“Sit down, I’ll get you your damn cake.” Brad smiled softly as Ryan sat back down, and he managed to get him a free cake without any of his colleagues noticing. Even though he’d only intended to drop into the café for the morning, Ryan ended up sitting there the entire day, until Brad’s shift finished and they continued with their plans to hang out that night. As the sun began to set, Brad left the café and walked in tow with Ryan to his apartment. Ryan still had a look of discomfort across his face at the encounter from before.</p><p>“Ryan?”</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“Did you speak to someone?”</p><p>“Like….a therapist?”</p><p>“Mm. When I got my job, you said you were going to speak to someone. And I know that girl freaked you out.”</p><p>“It shouldn’t scare me, I know.” Reaching Ryan’s apartment, he took out his key and unlocked the door as they stepped inside. The smell was considerably better than the previous week, so Brad jumped on the sofa and looked curiously at his friend.</p><p>“But it does scare you. So, did you see the therapist or not?”</p><p>“Not….yet. I want to. But I know what they’d say.”</p><p>“What’s that?”</p><p>“They’d say…..my fear comes from Dina. I met Dina in a bar, and she was all giggly like that other girl. They even look slightly similar. So…..you know…”</p><p>“But you’ve had sex since Dina, right?”</p><p>“Sex is different. You close your eyes, and wait for it to be over.”</p><p>“Ryan…..”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“That’s not what it’s supposed to be like. Is that what it was like with Dina, too?”</p><p>“Brad, I haven’t been entirely honest with you.”</p><p>“No?”</p><p>“No. I need to explain.” Ryan sat down next to him, and held out his hand. Looping his pinkie through Ryan’s, Brad knew that the conversation was turning into a struggle for his best friend.</p><p>***</p><p>
  <em>Three Months into Ryan and Dina’s relationship. </em>
</p><p>“Ryan, come on! It’ll be fun.” Dina cooed in Ryan’s ear as they headed towards the bar. Having seen the amount of alcohol that Dina had already consumed, Ryan knew she had a drinking problem, but also knew what the night would entail. They hadn’t been together very long, so he was considering ending their relationship, but every time he tried, she’d reeled him back in with the promise she’d get better. But as they entered the bar, he knew it was about to get so much worse.</p><p>Dina ordered a round of tequila shots, and had nearly the entire tray to herself. She didn’t care about anyone around her, and even the barman looked slightly uncomfortable serving her. Nonetheless, she continued to order drink after drink, with Ryan barely able to keep up with her. He could smell a mixture of whiskey, vodka and tequila on her breath as she used him to stay upright. Suddenly whipping her phone out of her pocket, she took a selfie of them and posted it all over her social media. Within seconds, the usual comments popped up with “Drunk slut” and “Two-Timing bitch” at the forefront of the drama. Dina wasn’t very popular on social media, but it didn’t stop her antagonizing everyone around her. As Ryan sipped his drink, Dina disappeared into the ladies toilets and he could hear her voice clearly, even through the loud music.</p><p>“No, you know what, fuck you Brad! I’m having a good time, and I don’t need your fucking judgement! I don’t care if you got me that diamond watch, you were flirting with that girl so I’m going to play your game! Goodbye, sweetheart!” Ryan furrowed his eyebrows when he heard the commotion, and drank the rest of his drink quickly, knowing that Dina would most likely want to leave soon. He was right, when Dina returned she dragged him to a house he’d never seen before and threw him on the bed.</p><p>“I’m going to leave a little present for my dear little Brad.”</p><p>“Dina, what’s going on? Seriously…..”</p><p>“Let’s leave a gift for him.” Dina was already undressing, but Ryan struggled underneath her.</p><p>“Dina, I don’t want to..”</p><p>“Well, I do. You love me, right? Let’s do this.”</p><p>“Dina…” Ryan shifted uncomfortable when he felt drunken hands all over him, and the nights continued that way for several months, turning to years.</p><p>***</p><p>As Brad listened to Ryan’s story, he bit his lip and disconnected their pinkies. Ryan breathed heavily, his hand permanently raking his fringe.</p><p>“Ryan…..do you want a hug?”</p><p>“Yeah..” Brad opened his arms and welcomed the larger man. Even though their pinkies had been a source of support, Brad felt that stronger measures were needed to comfort him.</p><p>“So, she forced you into stuff?”</p><p>“Yeah. Consent was blurry with her….and she was almost always drunk…”</p><p>“I can understand why you have issues with intimacy now.”</p><p>“Brad…..she never forced you, did she? I know it was just me, because she wanted to use me to get to you.”</p><p>“No. She never forced me. But…..she was so angry at me. I think it was because I knew her, like I knew some secrets.”</p><p>“What did she tell you?”</p><p>“Ryan, she forced you because her uncle molested her. She broke down in my arms one night, sobbing. I couldn’t hear most of it, but then she told me she wanted to do better, but she couldn’t.”</p><p>“Oh…”</p><p>“So the stuff we stole…the people we hurt…..it was all to fill some kind of emptiness within her. But she was suffering for so long, I can’t help but wonder if her death set her free.” Brad tilted his head, looking at the ceiling. He’d never thought that way before.</p><p>“I can’t believe she told you this.”</p><p>“I was the only one that tried to get to know her, like deeply. But she hated that I knew so much. She was extremely insecure, so she hated anyone trying to delve deeper.”</p><p>“But she still told you. I just….feel like an object to her..”</p><p>“Ryan, you’re not an object. I know its hard, but we have to keep moving. Come on.” Brad held him tighter, burying his chin in Ryan’s hair. He felt Ryan relax a little in his arms, burying into his collarbone. They stayed entwined for a few moments, before Brad stroked his back and nudged him a little.</p><p>“Uh Ryan? You’re crushing me a bit..”</p><p>“Not moving…”</p><p>“Huh?”</p><p>“You’re warm…”</p><p>“Ryan, seriously! Enough hugs now.”</p><p>“No…”</p><p>“Ryan!” Brad laughed as Ryan refused to move, but he adjusted to give him a bit more comfort. Instead of resting his head on Brad’s collar, he laid his head on his shoulder, arms still wrapped tight around him.</p><p>“You’re so soft and warm. Can we do this more often?”</p><p>“Do you miss it?”</p><p>“Miss what?”</p><p>“Like, human contact?”</p><p>“A little….but it’s different with you.”</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>“Sometimes I don’t want anyone to brush past me on the street, let alone hug me or anything. But I trust you. You’re my best friend.”</p><p>“Aww Ryan, I didn’t know you cared!” Brad laughed again, hitting him with a cushion, but not breaking their hug. Even thought Brad was teasing him, Ryan looked up at him, with a strange look in his eyes. Almost like he was hurt.</p><p>“Brad…” He sighed softly, looking at the floor. Brad raised his eyebrows and ruffled his hair affectionately.</p><p>“I’m sorry. I was just kidding…”</p><p>“But I do care about you.”</p><p>“I know. I care about you too. Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere Ryan.” Brad smiled as Ryan relaxed back into his arms, just nuzzling his neck for a moment then closing his eyes. After a few seconds, Brad found himself stroking the larger man’s back as he fell asleep using his shoulder as a pillow. He couldn’t help but bury his head against his back. He wasn’t aware that Ryan needed verbal proof that he wouldn’t leave, but he couldn’t image his world without Ryan constantly pestering him. Maybe it wasn’t annoying anymore.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. A Hard Truth</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Hi to all you lovely people, if there's anyone here lol! But anyway, still on track with this story because I love these boys so much and I hope this chapter will be a good one! Please do let me know what you think, that is if you're still reading or have only just come across this! </p><p>Thank you :)</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I’m sorry sir, but this is the fourth time you’ve not paid your rent. I’ll give you one hour to get your belongings and go.” Ryan’s landlord slammed the door in his face and went back inside. Ryan sat down on the step outside his apartment and buried his face in his hands, trying not to cry.</p><p>Even though Ryan had been having a good week, he had a crumbling inevitability hanging over his head. The crushing truth was he was on his last warning with his landlord, and if he didn’t pay up soon he’d be out on the street. Brad would’ve given him money for rent, but he didn’t want to be a burden. But the day of reckoning had come, and there he was, shaking on the step with his face covered. Knowing full well that he was wasting time that he needed to collect his things, he trudged back inside and starting packing a bag. He’d have to leave most of his stuff behind, so when he finished he only had two big bags that fitted easily over his shoulders. Leaving the key on the mat outside he sighed deeply and made his way down the street, feeling utterly defeated. Taking a long stroll in no particular direction, he ended up sitting on a bench, playing with a bag strap. In his pocket, his phone vibrated but he couldn’t bring himself to answer it. He knew Brad would’ve finished his shift by now, since all the stores were closing around him. Eventually he gave in and held the phone to his ear, sighing softly.</p><p>“Hey! I just finished work, do you want to do something?” Brad’s voice was enough to leave a lump in Ryan’s throat.</p><p>“I would but….” Ryan searched around desperately, until something in a book store caught his eye.</p><p>“I would hang out but I’m going to therapy…”</p><p>“You are?”</p><p>“Yeah. There’s this Jigsaw survivor group. I’ve been thinking about it for a while.” Ryan wasn’t lying when he said he’d been considering the group. The book he’d caught was one of Bobby Dagen’s works, and he thought the cover story would stop Brad digging.</p><p>“Okay. Well…..I thought you hated group therapy?”</p><p>“I do but….I don’t know. I guess people there might understand?”</p><p>“Ryan, what’s wrong?”</p><p>“Nothing!”</p><p>“You sound weird. Let me come over.”</p><p>“No!”</p><p>“H-Huh?”</p><p>“I-I mean I’m not at home. I’m outside the church where the meeting is. Meet me here?”</p><p>“I don’t know Ryan. I don’t know if I can relive all that again..”</p><p>“You don’t have to talk. Just….I can’t do it without you.”</p><p>“Okay, send me the address. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”</p><p>When Brad hung up, Ryan let out a sigh of relief and started desperately searching for somewhere to hide his belongings. As much as he hated group therapy, he’d rather go and keep Brad in the dark about his situation. In his desperation, he found an abandoned warehouse near the church, and stashed his bags, praying that they’d be there when he returned. As he stood outside the church, he texted Brad and waited patiently for him.  It wasn’t long before he saw him, and he waved to grab his attention. Brad walked up and raised his eyebrow, crossing his arms.</p><p>“Are you sure you want to go?”</p><p>“Yeah. I think it will help to be around other survivors.”</p><p>“Just tell me if you want to go, and we’ll walk right out of here, yeah?” Brad smiled softly and followed Ryan inside, the two of them met with a circle of chairs and Bobby speaking to a crowd of survivors. Brad recognised Tara and Brent from the local news, after a huge health scandal involving Tara’s husband’s death. He didn’t know anyone else, and Ryan only knew Bobby from the TV and multiple books containing his face on the cover. As they stepped inside a little hesitantly, Bobby stood up and raised his arms in a welcoming gesture.</p><p>“I see we have some new members joining us today. Please, come and sit down.” Bobby waved them over and Brad walked in step with his best friend, the two of them edging their seats closer together when they sat down.</p><p>“Now, I’m Bobby Dagen. I’m here to demonstrate that our lives can be changed by our experiences, and that you shouldn’t be ashamed of who you are. We are all stronger together!” Bobby’s enthusiasm had already stuck a negative chord in Ryan’s mind, but he stayed silent to try and give him a chance.</p><p>“So, why don’t you two gentleman introduce yourselves?”</p><p>“I’m Brad.”</p><p>“Ryan.”</p><p>“We were in a trap together..”</p><p>“I know you two. Your trap was public….I saw you…” An elderly lady looked at them, her eyes almost filling with tears. She looked so frail, and her sympathy wasn’t well received.</p><p>“Yeah, and? Everyone fucking saw us.” Ryan crossed his arms, rolling his eyes a little.</p><p>“Ryan, I know it’s hard but can I ask you not to speak to fellow survivors like that.” Bobby interjected, earning a glare from a now seething Ryan. Brad put his arm on Ryan’s shoulder, looking at the circle.</p><p>“Look, it’s easy for you to say not to use bad language. But we know that our trap was public, and it’s not like we can forget that. It wasn’t an easy decision for us, and we don’t need sympathy.” Brad nodded politely at Bobby and looked back at Ryan, who had softened slightly. Ryan edged his chair even closer and linked his pinkie around Brad’s as Bobby nodded back at them.</p><p>“My apologies. Nobody here has to talk about what happened to them, unless it’s part of your healing process. Me, I found that it helps to share our experiences so we can truly move on.”</p><p>“What is your experience?” Brad asked, trying to take the heat off himself and Ryan. Bobby smiled and began the tale of piercing hooks through his pectoral muscles and hoisting himself up to a platform, all to rip them out and scream as he finally won his game. He had a new perspective on life, and he repeated his wife’s name over ten times, or so Ryan counted. Frankly, Bobby’s story had flared the angry he’d been trying to hide all over again.</p><p>“So, all you had to do was climb this platform?”</p><p>“By piercing my muscles, yes.”</p><p>“But you’ve never murdered anyone?”</p><p>“Ryan.” Brad said gently, squeezing his hand, but not getting through.</p><p>“I’ve never murdered anyone.”</p><p>“Do you have any idea what it’s like to watch someone get cut in half?”</p><p>“No, why don’t you tell me?”</p><p>“It’s fucking traumatising. I had to kill the woman I loved and for what?! To listen to you fucking talk about a new perspective on life?!”</p><p>“Ryan, I’m simply trying to tell everyone what I’ve been through to help-“</p><p>“YOU HAVEN’T BEEN THROUGH SHIT! You’ve never had to make a decision like that! To kill the woman that was slowly destroying you, or kill the man that was also being poisoned by her!”</p><p>“Ryan-“</p><p>“You know what? Fuck you. I’m not listening to your bullshit story.” Ryan stood up and stormed outside, leaving Brad to deal with the aftermath of his outburst. Brad sighed and looked at Bobby, apologetic but also angry.</p><p>“I wouldn’t be alive without Ryan. It was his decision to save me, and murder our ex-girlfriend. You can’t blame him for being angry, and he’s not ready to hear your story, Mr Dagen. Maybe you should think about what you had to sacrifice to be here today, because I can promise you it doesn’t even come close to what Ryan has been through.” Brad sighed deeply and looked at the door, ready to follow his friend.</p><p>Outside the church, Ryan sat on a bench with his head in his hands once again, ashamed of his outburst. He didn’t want anyone to talk to him, but he jumped as he felt a weight on the end of the bench.  </p><p>“You know, I agree with you.” A very deep growl protruded from the mystery man’s lips.</p><p>“Huh?”</p><p>“I have a feeling that our friend Bobby will learn the meaning of sacrifice one day, but until then, we’re stuck here listening to his promotional campaigns.”</p><p>“W-Who are you?”</p><p>“That, is a question I ask myself too. But, you can call me Lawrence.”</p><p>“Ryan…”</p><p>“I know who you are. I’m aware of what you’ve gone through.”</p><p>“How could you possibly know?” Ryan stared at him, eyebrows raised. Lawrence chuckled lightly and poked him with what Ryan first thought was a stick, until Lawrence rolled his trouser leg up a little and showed his prosthetic.</p><p>“O-Oh…I didn’t see you in the circle?”</p><p>“I like to watch from afar.”</p><p>“So you think that Bobby guy is an asshole too, huh?”</p><p>“I think he’s a little…..misguided. I like to think I can spot dishonesty easily. It seems that you can too.”</p><p>“I guess?”</p><p>“I like you Ryan. I might have a job for you, but you’ll have to keep attending these meetings, no matter how difficult it may be. I won’t insult you with sympathy, but believe me when I say I am deeply sorry for your loss.” Lawrence nodded and stood up, heading back inside. As he left, Ryan watched him with curiosity, wondering what on earth the job could possibly be. Considering possibilities to himself, he was soon greeted with a different weight on the bench, that of his best friend.</p><p>“Hey, you okay?” Brad said softly.</p><p>“I-I’m sorry that I shouted..”</p><p>“It’s okay. I know how hard it is for you.”</p><p>“B-Brad…”</p><p>“Hey, hey…” Brad’s eyes widened as Ryan sniffled, and he immediately pulled him into his arms, the two of them clutching at each other’s shirts.</p><p>“Brad I thought I could talk about it….I thought I could remember without it hurting so much…”</p><p>“Sssh, ssh.”</p><p>“I can’t do it…” Ryan sobbed dismally on the back of Brad’s shirt, the overwhelming feeling of panic and despair washing over him. Somehow he could maintain himself in front of anyone else but Brad, he felt hopeless.</p><p>“Ryan, it’s okay. Let it out.” Brad stroked his hair and felt a small pool of tears gathering on his shoulder. He was scared to see Ryan break down, but he also didn’t want him to keep maintaining a fake demeanour around him. He knew that if his friend needed to cry, he wouldn’t let him go. As they held each other tightly, Ryan eventually felt the tears stop flowing, and he gripped Brad’s back.</p><p>“Brad….”</p><p>“Hmm?” Brad detached a little from him and cupped his face, resting his forehead gently on his.</p><p>“T-Thank you…”</p><p>“Ryan, you’re not okay, are you? You can tell me.”</p><p>“I’ll be fine…”</p><p>“I won’t leave you, ever. I’m never going to judge you. Ryan, you’re my best friend, and I want you to be honest with me. Are you okay?”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“And that’s okay. I promise, we’ll get through this together.” Brad took his hand and kissed it softly, putting it on his own face. Both men sat gently stroking the others cheek, sharing a silent moment of clarity, and Brad knew that Ryan was struggling even more than he’d anticipated. He vowed silently to himself to make Ryan smile again.</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Trying Times</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Hello again! I am having so much fun writing this story so as I always say, even 1 kudos or comment makes my day so I appreciate it if anyone's reading :) Thank you again! &lt;3</p>
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    <p>As soon as he’d vowed to help Ryan, Brad didn’t know the full extent of the damage his best friend was facing. He was unaware that Ryan was homeless, and he was never given any updates to his situation. Taking control into his own hands, Brad set out on a mission to force his way into Ryan’s business, unsure whether Ryan would be grateful or angry, but he knew that he needed someone to look out for him.</p><p>Two Saturday’s after therapy, Brad left without saying a word to his best friend. He knew Ryan would be sad and confused as to why he didn’t speak to him, but he had an ulterior motive. Brad was going to secret meetings, with a fellow survivor, Mallick. Only hearing minimal chat from him in the group had intrigued him, and his interests were sparked when he’d found out that Mallick had a large cash injection after his game from his parents. Although he wasn’t fully aware of Ryan’s situation, he knew that money would be an issue, so he was desperately trying to win Mallick’s trust, to borrow cash. They’d gone to his café a few times, and on that particular occasion, Brad jumped straight into the proposition, no small talk.</p><p>“Mallick, as much as I love hanging out with you, I have to ask you something.”</p><p>“Oh?”</p><p>“You never make any attempt to hide the fact that you’re rich, and I desperately need a loan.”</p><p>“You do?”</p><p>“Yes. But it’s not any loan. It’s to start a business. I know I have this job, but I don’t want to be here forever. And Ryan doesn’t have a job either. I know I can make this work.”</p><p>“What kind of business?”</p><p>“I hadn’t really thought about it yet. Ryan probably has some strategic system.”</p><p>“How much do you need?”</p><p>“I won’t lie, I’m asking for $10,000.”</p><p>“I’ll loan you the money, if you tell me something.”</p><p>“Go on.”</p><p>“How can you look at Ryan without panicking? Aren’t you scared he’ll hurt you, like he did in the game?” Mallick’s question hit Brad right in the chest, almost as painfully as the saw blade he was referring to.</p><p>“W-What……that’s not…..he didn’t…..”</p><p>“He cut you, right?”</p><p>“He was scared…….”</p><p>“But, wouldn’t he have killed you, if Dina didn’t scream for you?”</p><p>“Stop…….He’s not like that!” Brad panted softly, running a hand through his curls. They’d told their story to the group, but nobody had ever said anything like that to him. It made Brad feel panicked, and his chest constricted with each breath.</p><p>“Brad, I’m sorry. I was just curious.”</p><p>“Forget the money. I’m fucking out of here.” Brad snarled and left the café, standing against the wall outside. When he checked the time on his phone, a notification came through from Mallick’s money transfer, along with a reference of “Sorry x.” Brad leaned against the wall and sighed deeply, staring at the sky. He should’ve been happy that he had achieved a goal, but all he felt was severe stomach pains from the aggravation. Would Ryan really have killed him, given the chance? He’d never thought about it, his mind subconsciously blocked the terrifying prospect. Shaking his head, he continued down the street and headed towards his apartment, tripping on a pile of boxes as he did. Cursing under his breath, he got his keys and paid no more attention to his thoughts, trying to block out the world.</p><p>Little did Brad know, but when he’d knocked over the boxes, he’d interrupted Ryan’s makeshift home. It had been over two weeks since he’d been out on the streets, and he had some money for food, but little else. Certainly not for hotels or a warm place to stay. He’d had too many fights to stay in a shelter, and he knew that would require tolerance to put up with that many other people. Instead, he’d opted for a large cardboard box, sometimes flattening it to use as a blanket. He thought he would have to keep making excuses not to see Brad, but his phone had died long ago, so he couldn’t answer calls. Brad barely spoke to him during support group, and his hopes of seeing him were starting to dwindle. Living outdoors in the middle of winter wasn’t doing him any good at all, and he was developing a heavy cough. He hadn’t shaved either, and he couldn’t seem to shift the smell of sweat from his remaining clothes. Covering his mouth, he coughed a very scratchy cough. He had to leave his belongings once again, and search for a clock so he could get to the next group session on time. Eventually he found one, and stumbled over as he realized he was late. All the usual survivors were there, and he sat as far away from Brad as he could manage, even if it meant he had to sit next to Bobby. Bobby was his usual cheery self, and Ryan flinched a little as he caught Brad staring at him.</p><p>“Welcome everyone. We don’t have any new survivors today, so does anyone want to start today’s session?”</p><p>“I will.” Brad said suddenly. Ryan looked down at the floor, slumping in his chair like he couldn’t care less.</p><p>“Okay…..well….I guess I haven’t had a lot of time to think about the game….”</p><p>“No?” Bobby sat forward, his overbearing curiosity making Ryan roll his eyes.</p><p>“No. But my friend asked me a very….personal question the other day. And now I can’t stop thinking about it.”</p><p>Mallick shot Brad an apologetic look, but it was ignored.</p><p>“It suddenly occurred to me. I have been valuing my life, but I know that someone else hasn’t.”</p><p>“Is that a fucking hint?” Ryan mumbled under his breath.</p><p>“And this is me, reaching out to him. Because he won’t answer my calls. Or speak to me.”</p><p>“I’M NOT THE ONE THAT STOPPED SPEAKING TO YOU!” Ryan suddenly snarled, making those around him jump.</p><p>“Bobby, I’m sorry to interrupt this session. But I have to talk to Ryan in private.” Brad dismissed himself and went outside, feeling Ryan’s wrath following him.</p><p>“What the fuck was that?!” Ryan growled angrily, but he was fighting the urge to start coughing.</p><p>“Ryan, I’m sorry….”</p><p>“You’re sorry?!”</p><p>“I know I’ve been distant…..but it’s not like you keep in contact! I’ve been trying to reach you….”</p><p>“Fuck you Brad.”</p><p>“H-Huh?”</p><p>“I said. Fuck. You. I’m not the one that started getting all friendly with Mallick and abandoning you!”</p><p>“Ryan…….What difference does it make to you? Jealous?”</p><p>“I don’t give a fuck! But I thought we were meant to help each other?! I thought you cared!”</p><p>“I do care! That’s why I’ve been speaking to him! I needed cash….”</p><p>“For what exactly?”</p><p>“FOR US!”</p><p>“W-What?”</p><p>“For us. To start a business together. I know you don’t have much money…..and I want to help.”</p><p>“Brad…”</p><p>“But then you got all moody…” Brad started ranting, but Ryan was struggling to stand. He suddenly put both hands on Brad’s shoulders and blinked rapidly, the world spinning around him.</p><p>“R-Ryan?”</p><p>“I don’t…..I feel dizzy-“ As soon as Ryan finished speaking, he blinked and could only see blurry colours. The world suddenly span faster, and before he knew it he was on the floor. Only vague sounds of panic were audible in the background, before he blacked out completely.</p><p>***</p><p>When he finally came around, Ryan was blinded by bright light, and the overwhelming smell of soap. He’d woken up in a bed, and he didn’t recognise anything. The only thing he could feel with any conviction was a warm hand threaded through his own.</p><p>“H-Hm….” He mumbled, making Brad jump next to him.</p><p>“Ryan! Thank god, you scared the shit out of me.”</p><p>“W-Where am I?”</p><p>“In hospital. You just……blacked out. The doctor wants to speak to you.”</p><p>“You should go. I don’t want you to hear this…” Ryan sat up against the pillows, rubbing his head.</p><p>“I’m not going anywhere after that. Why didn’t you tell me?!”</p><p>“You ignored me for weeks…..I thought you were finally done with me.”</p><p>“What?!”</p><p>“Why else would you just stop talking to me? I didn’t know you were getting money, did I?”</p><p>“Ryan, everything I fucking do is because of you! It’s your fucking fault that I’m terrified!”</p><p>“Terrified?”</p><p>“Are you seriously ill?!”</p><p>“No! Brad…..I’m fine.” Ryan looked at his friend, who seemed to be retreating into panic again. He hadn’t seen him have a full one since they’d first met, so something serious must’ve brought him to the perils of a new one. He bit his lip and sat up more, staring at him.</p><p>“Brad, come on. Take a breath.” He held out his hand, and Brad hooked pinkies with him, still breathing unevenly. Ryan felt immensely guilty, and any petty feelings he’d had before melted away. He’d forgotten that Brad was as equally fragile, and instead of using their usual source of comfort, he pulled him up onto the bed, and tucked him in with him. Brad was so confused by the action, that he managed to maintain a normal breathing rhythm.</p><p>“Ryan? What are you doing?”</p><p>“Forgiving you.”</p><p>“Dick.”</p><p>“Shut up and hug me.” Ryan nestled back down into the scratchy bed sheets, holding Brad against him. Even though he was hooked to various IV drips, he managed to keep Brad firmly against him under the blankets.</p><p>“Ryan? Please just…..talk to me…” Brad mumbled against his bedgown.</p><p>“I’m sorry….”</p><p>“You’re so cold….and I know that you’re ill….”</p><p>“I’ve…….b-been sleeping rough…”</p><p>“Sleeping rough?!” Brad emerged from under the blanket and glared at him.</p><p>“Excuse me gentleman, but I need to speak to Mr Thompson alone?” A female doctor suddenly interjected their conversation, making Brad jump madly.</p><p>“It’s okay. This is my husband, he can know the details.” Ryan shrugged, whilst Brad scowled slightly.</p><p>“Okay. Well sir, it seems very likely that you’ve contracted a virus. There are no abnormalities on your blood samples, and when you were brought in you were dangerously dehydrated. We’d like to keep you in tonight for observation, then we’ll prescribe some antibiotics. Your husband acted very quickly, so we were able to rehydrate you.  There shouldn’t be any lasting effects.” She smiled as Ryan nodded, then left the room.</p><p>“Your husband?”</p><p>“Oh come on, they wouldn’t let you listen if I’d just said friend.”</p><p>“Like I’d marry you.”</p><p>“Harsh.” Ryan grinned when Brad punched his arm playfully.</p><p>“When they discharge you, you’re living with me. I don’t give a fuck if you complain, it’s done.” Brad said sternly.</p><p>“Will you stay here? I’ve missed you so much.”</p><p>“If they don’t kick me out. Ryan….I am sorry. Sincerely.”</p><p>“I’m sorry too, Brad. I won’t hide anything from you anymore.”</p><p>“Thank you.” Brad buried into Ryan’s hospital gown, keeping his arms around him in an iron grip.</p><p>“God, I forgot how soft you were. You’re like a pillow.” Ryan chuckled, squeezing him enough to get him to protest, but not hurt him.</p><p>“Ryan! Stop!” Brad giggled, looking up at him quickly. His swift action caused Ryan to look down at the same second, and the two of them accidently bumped noses, Brad misjudging how close they were. Ryan stared for a moment, his hazel eyes searing deeply into Brad’s turquoise depths. There was a very strange tension between the two of them, and whilst Ryan edged even closer, Brad broke the hesitation.</p><p>“H-Hey. We should rest…” Brad ducked his head, feeling his face turn magenta.</p><p>“Y-Yeah right…” Ryan also looked the other way, closing his eyes quickly. Even as they cuddled silently, they both were confused and disorientated at what had happened.</p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Blurred Lines</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Hellooo again! How's everyone, I hope you're good! Here's the latest chapter, with some steamy moments at the end, but it'll be a twisted road before these boys get together properly! But anyway, enjoy! :)</p>
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    <p> </p><p>Immediately after Ryan’s health scare, Brad wasted no time moving him into his house. He’d been shocked to hear of his friend’s situation, but he had noticed that he was deteriorating in terms of hygiene and general presentation. It wasn’t like Ryan to abandon his appearance, and whilst he wasn’t vain, Brad would’ve noticed the slightest change, such as Ryan’s hair overgrowing or his stubble turning into a beard. Once he’d helped Ryan with his belongings, he’d spoken with a doctor and helped him get his medication for the virus he’d contracted. There was paperwork to fill out for Ryan’s address to be changed, but Brad insisted that he’d take care of it, forcing Ryan to stay in bed and rest for a week. Brad was also in the process of sorting his loan from Mallick, but he had to be sure that Ryan was mentally and physically well enough to start the business before they could move forward with any plans.</p><p>One morning, Ryan was sitting up in bed taking his tablets when Brad came in holding extra blankets.</p><p>“Hey. How are you feeling?” Brad perched on the end of the bed, looking at his friend. Ryan’s face had regained some colour, and he had finally been able to take a long hot bath and shave.</p><p>“I’m good. I’m glad I’ll be off those tablets soon, they taste awful.”</p><p>“I know, but it’s for your own good.”</p><p>“You sound like the doctor.”</p><p>“I have to be sure that you’ll be okay. I haven’t been so scared in a long time….”</p><p>“Brad….”</p><p>“L-Look, I got you some extra blankets. I’m going to work in a second, please promise me that you’ll rest?”</p><p>“I’ll rest if I can get a hug?” Ryan cocked his head up, sticking his bottom lip out like a grumpy toddler. Brad sighed deeply and put the blankets down, edging up the bed until he reached Ryan, holding his arms out with a slight roll of his eyes. Ryan smiled widely and hugged him tightly, relaxing immediately when he felt Brad’s hands on the back of his shirt. Resting his chin on Ryan’s shoulder, Brad chewed his bottom lip slightly, feeling a chill run down his spine. Ever since the incident at the hospital, he tried to avoid any physical contact with Ryan, but he couldn’t say no if a hug was on offer. He wasn’t sure why, but whenever he felt the other man pressed so tightly against him, his body seemed to react strangely. Hugs were only a source of comfort before, but now he could feel chills, sometimes amplified by Ryan’s hands running down his back.</p><p>“Ryan…I have to go…”</p><p>“Call in sick..”</p><p>“Seriously, I’m not doing that again. Call me if you need anything, okay?” Brad managed to let go of the larger man, but Ryan gently gripped his wrist.</p><p>“Miss you already. You make a good nurse, you know.” Ryan ducked as Brad went to hit him with a pillow, but chuckled lightly all the same. Brad got up and waved, heading out for his usual morning shift. If he hadn’t left at that moment, he knew he was susceptible to Ryan’s distractions and would possibly be late to another shift. But as he left the house and followed the usual route to work, he rubbed his head and sighed softly. The feel of Ryan’s hands was still present on his back, burning through his shirt. When he got to work, he barely noticed his manager speaking to him as he put his apron on and started cleaning.</p><p>“BRAD! Wake up, I need to speak to you.” His manager suddenly shouted, making Brad jump madly.</p><p>“O-Oh sorry. What is it?” Brad replied, leaning against a table. He rubbed the back of his neck nervously, still feeling the warm sensation running down his spine.</p><p>“What’s wrong with you today? Your head is in the clouds.”</p><p>“S-Sorry sir. I’ll be fine.”</p><p>“Your face looks all red. Are you ill or something?”</p><p>“N-No! I’m just a bit warm, that’s all. Can I speak to you after work? I really just want to get these tables clean….” Brad avoided his manager’s gaze and continued cleaning, desperate for everyone to stop talking. There was enough distractions without people speaking too, and he was trying to work out what he was feeling. The unknown feeling continued to taunt him all day, and even when he finished his shift and discussed his resignation with his manager, he still went home feeling strange. The moment he got through the door, he was greeted with Ryan standing in the kitchen, wearing nothing but a towel. Brad immediately turned away, scowling underneath his red cheeks.</p><p>“Ryan, why are you up? I told you to rest.” He said, crossing his arms.</p><p>“I wanted to take a shower and get some food. I didn’t realize I wasn’t allowed to get up.”</p><p>“Could you at least get dressed before you cook? Nasty accidents happen in kitchens.” Brad rolled his eyes and started loading groceries into the freezer, having the decency to stop at a store before he came home. Ryan leaned against the counter, tilting his head.</p><p>“Brad.”</p><p>“What do you want for dinner?” Brad quickly changed the subject, trying to ignore the sensation that shot through him when Ryan said his name.</p><p>“You’re being weird.”</p><p>“Huh?”</p><p>“You can’t look at me longer than five seconds.”</p><p>“Do you want me to? That’s an odd thing to say…”</p><p>“Brad, you know what I mean. You tiptoe around me, and act weird. Even earlier, you were desperate to get away from me. Are you still mad at me?”</p><p>“I’m not mad. I just can’t spend all day with you. I want to get things moving so we can start our business.”</p><p>“I can’t go into business with you, if you won’t tell me what’s going on.”</p><p>“Nothing is going on! Will you stop pushing?!” Brad pushed past him, reaching up to put some pasta away.</p><p>“I’ll stop, but only because I’m hungry and tired. I’ll get it out of you, one way or another.” Ryan growled slightly, coming close before returning to the other room, leaving Brad frozen and confused again. As he packed away the last items, he leaned against the cupboard and panted softly, closing his eyes. His head was spinning, and a slight realization was kicking in as he began to prepare dinner silently.</p><p>When both men had eaten, they did their usual routine of video gaming and telling the other about their day, but Brad knew that Ryan was still watching him closely. To diffuse the tension, Brad rested his legs over Ryan’s thighs, facing the TV.</p><p>“So….you wanna play another game?”</p><p>“No, I’m getting sleepy. But I had really bad nightmares last night…”</p><p>“Do you want some of that medicine again?”</p><p>“No. You.”</p><p>“Me?”</p><p>“Stay with me.”</p><p>“Like……in your bed?”</p><p>“Is that a problem?”</p><p>“No. As long as you’re fine with that.” Brad tried to ignore the warnings his body was giving him, and he went against himself to help Ryan, again. Both of them headed towards Ryan’s room, and started getting ready for bed. Even after Brad had put his pyjamas on, he was unsure why Ryan wanted him to sleep with him, it wasn’t a line they’d crossed just yet, and he was worried that Ryan could be declining in his progress.</p><p>A few moments later, Brad slipped into the bed and heard Ryan return from the bathroom, also sliding into bed next to him. They looked at each for a moment, before Brad moved the tiniest inch closer.</p><p>“U-Um…..how do you want to do this…?” Brad mumbled slightly, and Ryan smiled, turning over to show his back.</p><p>“Hold me.”</p><p>“What were your nightmares about the other night?” Brad asked as he positioned himself against Ryan, draping one arm over him. He was small in comparison to Ryan but the latter didn’t seem to mind.</p><p>“Just…..the usual.”</p><p>“Dina?”</p><p>“Mm.”</p><p>“I haven’t thought about her for a while.”</p><p>“The nightmare….it came as a shock to me. I haven’t thought about her much either, not since…”</p><p>“Since?”</p><p>“Well….when you came into my life. Talking about her, it helped to move on…..so, thank you.”</p><p>“Let’s get some rest now, I’m exhausted.” Brad said softly, gently nestling his against his friend. As they both drifted off, Brad was hoping the awkward feeling would soon subside, but it was about to hit a breaking point for both of them.</p><p>***</p><p>As the boys cuddled in their sleep, Brad stirred softly when he felt Ryan kicking him in his sleep. He groaned irritably as he looked out of the window, his eyes still half shut. It was pitch black, and he’d been woken up rudely by his friend’s unknown antics.</p><p>“Ryyy…..wake up. You’re hurting my leg.” Brad edged off him, trying to avoid Ryan’s wild swipes. He could only assume that Ryan was chasing someone in his dream, but he was caught off-guard when he suddenly woke up, reaching out for him.</p><p>“B-Brad?”</p><p>“It’s okay, I’m right here.” Brad moved towards him again, wrapping his arm around him. He could feel Ryan trembling.</p><p>“Nightmare again?” Brad asked gently, trying to make out Ryan’s shoulder in the dark.</p><p>“N-No…I feel……weird….”</p><p>“What’s wrong?”</p><p>“I can’t…..remember everything. I feel really warm…” Ryan tugged the neck of his shirt a little, panting lightly. Brad still couldn’t see anything, but he moved his arm to give Ryan some space, before he felt the other man grasp his hand.</p><p>“B-Brad….I’ve had an accident…” Ryan said shakily.</p><p>“Hey, it’s alright. I can’t see shit but I’ll find the light and we’ll change the bed. Don’t worry.”</p><p>“N-Not that kind of accident…”</p><p>“W-What do you mean?”</p><p>“I must’ve had like….one of those dreams.”</p><p>“O-Oh. I see. W-Well do you need help to the bathroom?”</p><p>“I-I’ve never…..”</p><p>“Never what?”</p><p>“I’ve never masturbated, okay Brad?! I don’t know what to do…” Ryan said nervously, glad that it was too dark for Brad to see his now red face.</p><p>“Oh Ryan…” Through his previously awkward state, Brad suddenly felt a sadness hearing his friend’s words, and any ounce of doubt he’d had before was washed away when he heard Ryan’s predicament.</p><p>“Do you need help?”</p><p>“I’m not going to lay here and listen to you explain that, it’s weird.”</p><p>“Then…..do you want me to do something about it?” Almost regretting his offer, Brad looked away, despite both of them being blind to the other. His words hung in the air for a few seconds, before he heard shuffling.</p><p>“……Yes.” Ryan’s response was barely louder than a whisper, but Brad still heard him. Even with nerves bubbling up inside his stomach and threatening to overheat, he moved forward and found Ryan laid out on his side, slightly hunched up. He rested against his abdomen, gently pushing Ryan onto his back.</p><p>“Are you sure about this?”</p><p>“Yeah…..I trust you….”</p><p>“Hey, give me your hand.” Brad felt his way across the sheet to find Ryan’s outstretched hand, and he looped his finger through his, to silently confirm their trust. He felt Ryan ease a little when their fingers entwined.</p><p>In his new position draped over Ryan’s lower body, Brad had to use every sense except his sight to coordinate. Every time he moved he could see grainy shapes in the darkness, with some light escaping through the curtains but not enough to work with. Abandoning his hopes of seeing, Brad decided to feel his way across with his free hand, running it down Ryan’s toned chest all the way down to his strong thighs.</p><p>“B-Brad….” Ryan whimpered softly, making Brad’s ears prick up a little.</p><p>“Ry, tell me if something feels wrong, or you want me to stop. You’re driving this, and I won’t do anything you don’t want.”</p><p>“O-Okay….”</p><p>Brad nodded, mostly to himself as if to say he was nervous but ready. When his hand reached Ryan’s thigh, he rested it there for a moment and stroked gently, thumbing the edge of Ryan’s boxers. Even though he couldn’t see, when Brad moved his hand higher he could feel Ryan’s penis trembling slightly, harder than he’d ever felt. Not that he’d ever felt it before, but it was still a very new and somewhat exciting sensation. With a swift tug, he pulled Ryan’s boxers down and gently placed his hand on the tip, biting his lip madly.</p><p>“O-Oh…” Ryan buried into the pillow, groaning a little. He felt so desperate, and Brad’s movements were so soft and light that his body felt sensitive. Brad continued biting his lip and ran his hand down the length, getting a feel for Ryan’s size. Darkness was still hindering him, but he definitely felt a larger handful than he was used to. He began to rub lightly, friction increasing as his hand movement became a bit faster with each stroke. Ryan’s soft sighs and occasional gasps were auditory confirmation, but he stopped when Ryan hissed lightly.</p><p>“Shit, did I hurt you?”</p><p>“No…..but…”</p><p>“But?”</p><p>“I want more…”</p><p>“Yeah? Okay, but keep being loud. I still can’t really see.” Brad flicked his hair out of his eyes and lowered himself even more, moving his hand back to it’s resting position Ryan’s thigh. Whilst he’d been able to keep some kind of composure when he was using his hand, he wasn’t so sure what would happen when he started using his mouth. Hesitantly, he flicked his tongue over the tip, feeling a shudder from the man underneath him. That was the signal that drove him over the edge, and he sunk his head down fully over the whole thing, taking a lot more than Ryan would’ve guessed. Sensory overload began to drive Brad insane, and as he bobbed his head slowly, he moved faster and faster until Ryan was whining under his grip. It was Ryan’s taste that drove him close to insanity, and he finally began to understand the feelings he’d been experiencing all day. His tongue pressed against the hard flesh, and Ryan suddenly cried out, gripping Brad’s curls with his free hand.</p><p>“B-Brad! Jesus!” Ryan panted, whilst Brad moved off for a second.</p><p>“Do you want to stop?”</p><p>“N-No! I’m just….it feels so fucking good…”</p><p>“You close?”</p><p>“I think so…”</p><p>“Then just…..let go…” Brad resumed his previous position, his tongue moving so fast that it brought Ryan to climax in seconds, holding Brad’s hair in an excruciating grip. When he came, Brad didn’t move for a few seconds, driving Ryan even further into pleasure. His scalp was aching a little, but when he laid back down beside his best friend he just smiled softly to himself.</p><p>“Was that……alright….?”</p><p>“Yeah……thank you…” Ryan said softly, his voice slightly hoarse. As the light started leaking through the windows, Brad looked up at him, his curls wildly strewn all over his face. Ryan was laying with his boxers still hastily arranged, and had slight grip marks along his thighs. When they both looked at each other, they burst into laughter at the other’s state, their giggles finally setting Brad’s emotions at ease. It didn’t take long before they both fell into each other’s arms and returned to a much calmer sleep.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Business Plans</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Heya everyone, or anyone who is reading this haha! I had a lot of fun writing this and sending lots of good vibes to everyone today! This chapter is a bit fast-paced, but only because I wanted the studio up and running for more tension ;) Please enjoy! &lt;3</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>The next morning, Brad woke up without much recollection of what had happened that night. He could still taste Ryan on his lips, and the absence of mess on the sheets indicated that he’d swallowed, but the act was so fast and it was so dark, he couldn’t really comprehend it. But there was the unmistakable fact that it had happened, and as he dragged himself to the bathroom, he stared at himself in the mirror.</p><p>“What the fuck happened to my hair?” Brad said to himself, freezing as he tried to rearrange his curls. He sighed deeply as he remembered the reason, and Ryan’s death grip had screwed his hair for a good week. He shrugged and went back into the bedroom, stretching as he saw Ryan slowly emerging from the covers.</p><p>“Morning.” Brad said, smiling.</p><p>“Uh…..morning. I had some weird dreams last night….”</p><p>“Oh?”</p><p>“Yeah……did we….do something?”</p><p>“We did….”</p><p>“Oh fuck. I was hoping that I didn’t actually say all that shit…” Seeing Ryan red with embarrassment, Brad found an opportunity to remove the awkwardness once and for all. He sat on the bed and grinned, throwing a pillow at him.</p><p>“You did. <em>Ohh Brad</em>..” he teased, ducking a pillow attack.</p><p>“Shut up. Anyway, you’re the one that did all that stuff. You did suck my dick after all.”</p><p>“It’s not like I haven’t done that before….”</p><p>“Wait, what?”</p><p>“I have had relationships before Dina, you know.”</p><p>“That’s lucky. I haven’t done anything unless it was with her.”</p><p>“You should focus on yourself, Ry. Try masturbating, because I’m not doing it for you every time. I’ll maybe do it like…..five more times, but that’s it. Anyway!” Brad stood up, stumbling slightly.</p><p>“Brad. Thank you. Seriously.” Ryan smiled and hid under the sheet, making Brad grin as he went to the kitchen.</p><p>Sitting with his legs crossed, Brad held a piece of toast in one hand and his phone in the other, scrolling through news articles as he waited for Ryan to get up. Whilst he’d handed in his resignation at work, they needed to start thinking about their new business. He had the money from Mallick, and he’d spoken to a few potential staff members at survivor’s group, but he still didn’t have any idea about the actual business itself. Crunching his toast, Brad watched as Ryan came over and joined him, grabbing a cup of tea as he sat down.</p><p>“Hey, isn’t it your last week at work?” Ryan asked as he sipped his drink.</p><p>“Yeah. We need to talk about our new business. Otherwise I’ll have to beg from my parents.”</p><p>“When did you last speak to your parents anyway?”</p><p>“Like…..it was ages ago. Years. After I finished with my ex, they didn’t want to talk.”</p><p>“Dina?”</p><p>“No. Allen.”</p><p>“Your parents stopped speaking to you, because you finished with a guy?”</p><p>“It wasn’t that, I kind of dumped him for Dina….”</p><p>“Very bad decision.”</p><p>“Yeah, I know that now.”</p><p>“So they didn’t like her?”</p><p>“They never met her, but they didn’t like that I’d finished with such a nice guy, apparently.”</p><p>“You should reach out to them anyway, since she’s gone.”</p><p>“Forget Dina. We’ve got better things to think about.”</p><p>“Yeah, the business!” Ryan put his cup down and sat forward, hanging onto Brad’s words, possibly a little more than usual. Brad smiled and finished his breakfast, putting his phone down.</p><p>“So, is there any particular business you want to start? Like, any field of interest?”</p><p>“Well…..it’s a bit stupid…”</p><p>“Nothing you say is stupid. Go on.”</p><p>“When I was at college, I was studying art. I never really got the chance to pursue anything…..and I really miss doing sculptures…”</p><p>“Like, a gallery?”</p><p>“Yes!”</p><p>“That would work, but I’m awful at anything like that.”</p><p>“You really loved working at that café right? Why don’t we start our own café and gallery? People can come by and enjoy the café, but then they can go and look at art, and some of it can be for sale?!” Ryan exclaimed with excitement, making Brad chuckle.</p><p>“I miss baking….I could do that too. Sounds like a plan.”</p><p>“Perfect!” Ryan grinned and launched across the table, hugging Brad tightly. Brad leaned against him, closing his eyes for a second, before blinking rapidly at his thoughts.</p><p>
  <em>“Why do I want to pull Ryan against me?”</em>
</p><p>Shaking his head a little, Brad gently pushed Ryan away from him.</p><p>“Let’s look into buying a place to start our business. I’ll take care of the finances.” Brad grabbed his laptop and started searching as Ryan leaned against the table, still smiling.</p><p>“I’ll go get dressed. I’ll be back in a second.” As Ryan left, Brad’s eyes lingered after him, particularly staring at his backside. He shook his head wildly again, trying to focus on properties, instead of Ryan’s derriere.</p><p>When Ryan returned a few moments later, he peered over Brad’s shoulder and looked at the studio he was looking at. It was cheap, but in some state of disrepair. It was a promising start, with the accompaniment of some paint and building repairs. They booked a viewing together, but they were sold on the pictures alone. After the viewing, they signed the contracts the same day and finally started renovations for their new business.</p><p>***</p><p>A week later, Ryan was dressed in old clothes, wielding a paintbrush as he started to redecorate the top floor of their two-tiered studio. Brad was overlooking furniture deliveries, and as he counted the correct amount of booths and tables, he heard Ryan crashing around upstairs. Thanking the delivery driver, Brad locked the front entrance and bounded upstairs, to find Ryan coated in blue paint.</p><p>“Oh god, what happened?” Brad sighed as he grabbed a towel, throwing it at his friend.</p><p>“I slipped, I think the colour suits me though?” Ryan chuckled and wiped paint out of his hair, but his clothes were ruined. With his hair spiky with Sapphire Horizon paint, he pulled his shirt off and smirked when he caught Brad staring.</p><p>“Checking me out?”</p><p>“Yeah, right!” Brad rolled his eyes. “You’ve wasted a can of paint.”</p><p>“It’s not a whole can. It’s a gallery anyway, call it modern art.”</p><p>“Like people will visit this place for its art anyway…..”</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>“We’ll probably get more customers if you keep standing at the window shirtless.”</p><p>“I knew you were checking me out.” Ryan smiled widely and ruffled his hair, walking past to grab another paintbrush. Brad scowled and pushed Ryan’s hand away, maintaining a calm demeanour despite his feelings.</p><p>“I just came up here to tell you that the furniture is all done. I’m going to go and do some arranging. How are you getting on in here?”</p><p>“Nearly finished. Help me with this last bit?” Ryan handed him a paintbrush and went to the last paint can, with Brad following behind. As Ryan was now shirtless, as they started painting small droplets would fall onto his chest, and he was now dotted with speckles of blue and black paint.</p><p>“Ryan….you need to take a shower, like soon. You’re filthy.” Brad smirked, poking him with the paintbrush.</p><p>“I’ll have to wait until we get home. I’m so glad we’re almost finished.”</p><p>“You did a good job up here. Once we get the art work in, it’ll look so good. We should be able to open soon.”</p><p>“In the next two weeks?” Ryan asked he finished painting the wall.</p><p>“Yes.” Brad packed up the painting materials and helped Ryan put them into storage. Walking home together as they secured the studio, Ryan got various stares from strangers as he walked past shirtless and painted. When they got home, Ryan headed to the bathroom and started stripping, as Brad washed his hands.</p><p>“You’re seriously going to shower, whilst I’m in here?” Brad frowned, drying his hands. Ryan was already naked as he stepped into the shower.</p><p>“Do you care? You’ve seen my cock. Well……more than seen….”</p><p>“Don’t say anymore!”</p><p>“Join me.”</p><p>“I beg your pardon?”</p><p>“Come on. Shower with me.”</p><p>“No way!”</p><p>“Shy?”</p><p>“Fuck you, Ryan.” Brad left the bathroom, closing the door as he stood outside panting lightly. It was difficult to see Ryan naked, let alone join him in the shower. He had to do everything in his power to hide his potential crush on the other man, so he separated himself. He knew it was in Ryan’s nature to be playful, but he wasn’t sure if he was aware of how dangerous the invitation was. Paying no more attention to the image of Ryan naked, Brad went to the kitchen and sat down at the table, opening his laptop once more and finalising all the details for the studio. Even with intense concentration, he felt his mind wandering again.</p><p>
  <em>“Does Ryan feel nothing after what happened? Am I just weird, because I keep thinking about what would happen if I pinned him against the tiles and-“</em>
</p><p>Brad slammed his hand on the table, screaming internally as he did so. His thoughts were corrupted, and he couldn’t look at the business whilst he was thinking about Ryan. He shut the lid and went to the window, staring out at couples with a large sigh.</p><p>
  <em>“Ryan, I think I’m falling for you.”</em>
</p><p>***</p><p>Standing in front of the studio two weeks later, Ryan clasped his hands together and grinned at Brad. The two of them were staring at their newly refurbished gallery and café, admiring the work they’d done together. The name of their new business shone loud and proud, in fancy lettering. It read: “RyeBread’s Nook” which was a play on words based on an idea from a friend.</p><p>The café was in pristine condition, and both men were happy to have produced their business in such a small time. It was time to stop planning, and start serving, but Ryan was still having fun admiring their handiwork. Brad had to drag him inside to start work, and as he put his new apron on, he smiled from behind the counter. The second floor of the café was shut for the first day, but would soon be open for the public. Brad was also offering a free mocha to customers since it was opening day, and as both men began to work, Mallick came in after a few hours.</p><p>“Brad! Ryan! It looks great in here. Good job.” Mallick smiled as Brad started brewing coffee for him.</p><p>“Thanks. Hey, I know you loaned us the money for this, so thank you.” Ryan smiled, coming out from behind the counter as the queue quietened for a moment.</p><p>“You’re welcome. Can I get that free mocha please? And actually, Brad can I borrow you for a second?” Ryan started making Mallick’s drink for him, whilst Brad joined Mallick at a booth.</p><p>“What’s up?”</p><p>“Well….you know how Brit and I have been getting close?”</p><p>“Mm?”</p><p>“She um…..proposed to me last night.”</p><p>“What?! Dude, that’s awesome! I didn’t even know you were involved?!”</p><p>“It’s been…..really quiet. I don’t want to make a fuss, and you know Bobby would just talk about it non-stop.”</p><p>“Oh yeah, don’t tell him.”</p><p>“Well that’s the thing. We’re going to get married in a few months, and I wanted you to be the first to know. But Bobby will have to find out eventually, because he’s invited.”</p><p>“That’s fast…”</p><p>“We didn’t want to wait. After what we’ve been through, we really need each other.”</p><p>“Yeah….”</p><p>“So, obviously, you’re invited. You can bring a guest, if you like. But you haven’t told me if there’s someone in your life either.”</p><p>“O-Oh…..um…”</p><p>“I mean, apart from Ryan.”</p><p>“What do you mean by that?”</p><p>“If you have a boyfriend or girlfriend, he’s going to a third wheel right?”</p><p>“Mallick…”</p><p>“Okay, okay I’m sorry. But he sticks to you like glue. I know you’re best friends, but maybe it’s more than that.”</p><p>“More?”</p><p>“Brad, stop being dense. He’s looking at you right now.”</p><p>“That’s not…..it’s not…..you always say weird shit…”</p><p>“I can tell from here that something is going on. Maybe neither of you have noticed yet, but his eyes light up when he looks at you. And you blush and stutter whenever you talk about him. We’ve been given a second chance, and that’s why I’m marrying Brit. Think about it Brad, maybe you can’t admit it, but you’ve fallen in love with your best friend.”</p><p>
  <em>“Tell me something I don’t know, Mallick.”</em>
</p>
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<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Special Someone</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Hello again! I wanted to get Mallick's wedding underway, so please enjoy this next chapter :)</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ever since Mallick had announced his news, everyone at the support group had been over the moon. Especially Bobby, who was still his unbearable self, trying to make the wedding an opportunity for another promotional DVD, but getting shot down by Brit. Brit and Mallick had only arranged a small wedding, small and intimate. It was ideal for them, as they preferred to stay out of news and tabloids. Ryan had admired them for their bravery in the face of their ordeal, but he couldn’t stop thinking about who he’d take to their wedding. Like Brad, Mallick had also offered Ryan a guest invite, but he wracking his brains thinking about who he could take. The only person he wanted to go with was Brad, and usually they’d go everywhere together anyway. But there was something pestering him, and it was difficult to put his finger on as he headed into work for that afternoon.</p><p>Three weeks after their grand reopening, RyeBread’s nook was doing well for business. There was a steady flow of customers, and with Tara joining the workforce, it meant Brad could have a rare day off. Ryan was working the morning shift, and as he entered the café he grabbed an apron and started warming up the equipment. He had half an hour to get the café ready for potential customers, and when he finished cleaning and mopping, he finally opened the doors, a little early. Tara came in to join him, and as they stood at the counter waiting for customers, she smiled at him.</p><p>“Hey, can you believe Mallick is getting married?”</p><p>“Yeah, It’s crazy. I’m really happy for him though.”</p><p>“It’s time like this I miss my husband. But sometimes…..I can’t agree with what Brent did…”</p><p>“Oh…..W-Well if it’s any consolation, I had to make a decision too. And, we can’t undo what’s been done.”</p><p>“You’re right. And you and Brad have made so much for yourselves. How did you do it?”</p><p>“I can’t take any credit. This is all Brad.”</p><p>“You think a lot of him, don’t you? It’s very sweet, when the two of you are working together. You both tease each other a lot.” Tara smiled warmly, causing Ryan to raise his eyebrow a little.</p><p>“Tease?”</p><p>“Yeah. Flirt. I’ve been around long enough to know the signs. I think you should go for it.”</p><p>“I’m not sure what you mean by that. Go for what?”</p><p>“Brad! God knows the two of you need some happiness. Everyone thinks you’re a couple anyway. You do whatever makes you happy.”</p><p>“Uh…..thanks Tara?” Ryan looked away, running a hand through his fringe. When he restocked the muffins, he stared into space and tapped his finger lightly against the tray.</p><p>
  <em>“Go for it? And say what? Oh hey Brad, I like you? Of course I fucking like you, we’re best friends.”</em>
</p><p>Tara’s words continued to fester in Ryan’s mind all day, and although it didn’t effect his work, he found himself daydreaming much more than usual. It made him wonder if her words had some truth to them, and whether she was joking or not. When his shift ended, he dumped his apron in the basket and left, lingering on the streets for longer than he realized. Looking into a shop window, he closed his eyes for a moment.</p><p>***</p><p>
  <em>“What the fuck are you doing?!” Brad yelled, pushing the saw blades back against Ryan. </em>
</p><p>“<em>It’s you or me asshole, and it sure as shit isn’t gonna be me!” Ryan was delirious with rage. </em></p><p>
  <em>“Brad! Brad, I love you! Save me!” Dina cried out, dangling from the ceiling. Brad panted and pushed the saws again, but Ryan was stronger. When he lunged forward, the saw sliced into Brad’s chest and his scream pierced through his head. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You love him huh? You love him more than me?!” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“No, I had to say that. I’ve always loved you! You gotta do it for me! Kill him! Kill Brad!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You lying, cheating, SLUT!” Ryan screamed, pulling back from the blade. It was at that moment, he knew that he had to kill Dina, he had to walk away from the one thing destroying him. It wasn’t worth it to kill Brad, to kill a man who was innocent. </em>
</p><p>***</p><p>Whilst his vivid flashback had stopped Ryan in his tracks, he couldn’t help but continue staring into the window. He’d never expected to make friends with the man he could’ve killed, much less like him as much as he did. But it was deeper than that, Ryan felt that he needed Brad for survival, not just as his friend. Some Jigsaw survivors spoke about their new perspective, that their games had given them the great gift of all: Life. It wasn’t the same for him. He was grateful to John, even if he’d put him through one of the most grizzly events of his life. He was grateful that John had given him an even better gift, Brad. Feeling the cool glass of the window pane, Ryan sighed deeply and smiled a little, finally making his way back home. When he walked through the door, he could smell baking.</p><p>“Hey! Brad?” He called out, hanging his jacket up. He heard a mumble from the kitchen and walked over, smiling softly.</p><p>“Oh hey! I didn’t hear you come in. I’m just starting on those cakes for tomorrow. How was work?”</p><p>“Good. Tara is sad though.”</p><p>“Oh?”</p><p>“She misses her husband, because Mallick’s wedding reminded her of him.”</p><p>“Oh, that’s rough. Poor woman. I’m never getting married.”</p><p>“No?”</p><p>“It’s just…..I can’t imagine loving someone like that. I thought that’s how I felt about Dina, but I’m glad we never married.”</p><p>“So you’ll never get married because she ruined you? I thought you told me to stop letting her dictate my life.”</p><p>“True….but it’s marriage that I hate generally.”</p><p>“Don’t you think it would be cool, to have someone by your side for the rest of your life? That you can always rely on.”</p><p>“Sappy.”</p><p>“I’m serious. I can imagine loving someone like that. Hopelessly, and without fear. Sounds like a nice life.”</p><p>“You’re always such a purist like that. Love isn’t like that.”</p><p>“It’s not?”</p><p>“Love is messy, fucked up and full of rollercoasters. One day you think you’re fine, then you get mad because you’ve been thinking about a person all day. When they smile, it feels like your knees will buckle. Like you’re in this constant dizzy spell. Even simple tasks are impossible!” Brad’s voice raised a little, causing a very brief silence before Ryan crossed his arms.</p><p>“Damn. You’ve felt it before. Are you feeling it now?”</p><p>“Hahaha, yeah right! It’s just what I’ve read and seen in movies. Like I’d know!”</p><p>“I get those feelings too. Like….I feel fluttery and light-headed. Sometimes I get so happy, I just….can’t stop smiling.”</p><p>“You’re….in love with someone?”</p><p>“I don’t know. Maybe. I thought I’d never fall again…”</p><p>“I’m happy for you, Ry. Just, promise me one thing. Be careful.”</p><p>“You don’t have to worry. They’re very mindful, and very sweet.” Ryan smiled softly and went to the living room, grabbing his phone as he laid down over the sofa. His heart was racing at his conversation, he wondered if he had given himself away. But he felt safe when Brad came over and started talking about an unrelated TV show.</p><p>“So do you want to watch it?”</p><p>“Huh? Oh sorry, I wasn’t really listening…”</p><p>“Asshole. Still thinking about your crush?”</p><p>“Mm…”</p><p>“Are you taking them to Mallick’s wedding?”</p><p>“Hadn’t really thought about it. What about you, got someone I don’t know about?”</p><p>“Nope.”</p><p>“Then…..will you go with me?”</p><p>“Obviously.”</p><p>“No, as my date.”</p><p>“Your…….date?”</p><p>“Tara said everyone thinks we’re dating anyway. Please?”</p><p>“Isn’t that a bit weird….”</p><p>“Why? Am I that bad?”</p><p>“Ryan…” Brad blushed lightly when Ryan moved closer, just inches away from his face. He looked at the floor when he felt Ryan’s cool breath ghost across his cheek, and he noticed that his leg had started to jog uncontrollably. It made him nervous, to have Ryan in such close proximity. The dizzy sensation was creeping in, and he jumped a little when Ryan put his hand on his knee.</p><p>“Brad, look at me.” Ryan said lightly, his grip tightening. Brad bit his lip and edged his head up, only just enough to see Ryan’s hazel eyes looking earnestly at him.</p><p>“H-Hmm?”</p><p>“What are you afraid of?” Ryan whispered against Brad’s face, looking right into his eyes. Brad adverted his eyes down shyly, trying to control his heart that threatened to beat right of his chest. Tracing Brad’s bottom lip with his thumb, Ryan could feel him trembling, or maybe it was his own body.</p><p>“R-Ry-Ryan…” Brad shivered against Ryan’s movements, panting lightly when he felt him move even closer, his lips were tantalisingly close to his own. As they both moved to connect, their lips brushed extremely gently, before a very rude interruption came in the form of the doorbell, ringing so loudly that Brad immediately jumped back.</p><p>“I s-s-should get that!” Brad leaped from the sofa and went to the door, leaving Ryan sitting with his hand over his own lips now.</p><p>
  <em>“God, I want to kiss you so badly…”</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Connection Lost</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Hey everyone! Got another angst chapter coming up, and an OC character so I hope that's okay! I have done dual sides of the situation after the doorbell here, so please enjoy!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The interruption couldn’t come soon enough for Brad, and when he’d left the sofa to get the door he knew his face was crimson and his knees were trembling. His thoughts buzzed around in his mind like bees, and as he answered the door he blinked rapidly to try and come back to reality. Lawrence stood in the doorway, his eyebrow raised.</p><p>“Oh…..Hello Brad.”</p><p>“Uh…..you’re that guy from group right? Lawrence?”</p><p>“Yes. I’m sorry for disturbing you, but I thought Ryan lived here?”</p><p>“He does. He’s inside. I’m going out so….goodbye!” Brad grabbed a coat and sped out of the house, ignoring Ryan calling his name from inside. He hurried down the street, as fast as he could manage. He didn’t even care that he’d just let a glorified stranger into his house. The adrenaline was strong, and as he bustled past people, he collided head on with a girl, hearing her shriek as he stopped abruptly.</p><p>“Oh shit. I’m so sorry, are you okay?” Brad exclaimed, helping her collect her bag that she’d dropped.</p><p>“You fucking dick! Why don’t you watch where you’re going?! Wait a second….BRADLEY?!” The girl hadn’t look properly at him yet, but when she raised her head she smiled widely.</p><p>“Katia?!”</p><p>“What the hell are you doing here?!” Katia threw herself at him and gripped him in a hug, finally setting Brad’s thoughts at ease.</p><p>“What am I doing here?! What are you doing here? I thought you were supposed to be in London?!”</p><p>“Oh, I was. But I wanted to come and see your cute little café. Mom told me all about it.”</p><p>“She hasn’t visited?”</p><p>“She couldn’t get away. But when I heard my little baby brother had started his own business, I had to see for myself. I’ve missed you so much!” Katia released Brad from her crushing grip and smiled, linking her arm through his.</p><p>“So, do I get a grand tour or not?” Brad sighed softly and took Katia to the café, nodding at Tara as they entered and smiling softly as he sat opposite his sister. Tara brought over two coffees and two cakes, patting Brad’s shoulder with a smile before returning to the counter. Katia kicked her legs and looked around the café with admiration.</p><p>“How’s are things with this place? It looks busy.”</p><p>“Yeah, not bad. Tara’s good at selling. And the gallery brings people in too.”</p><p>“And how are you? Still sitting alone in your apartment? I worry about you.”</p><p>“I have a housemate now.”</p><p>“Just a housemate?”</p><p>“Katia, don’t. Just because you slept with everyone at college that you shared a room with.”</p><p>“Well, are they single? Because I’ve been having such shitty luck recently.”</p><p>“You’re awful. I don’t think he’d be your type anyway.”</p><p>“He? Tell me more. Are you good friends? Are you comfortable living with him?” Katia launched so many questions at once, Brad rolled his eyes and sipped his coffee.</p><p>“He’s my business partner. We run this place together.”</p><p>“Oh yeah, Mom mentioned that. So….you live together, run a business together….”</p><p>“Katia. We’re just friends.”</p><p>“Show me your phone.”</p><p>“Huh?”</p><p>“Show. Me. Your. Phone. Screensaver.” Katia held her hand out. Brad frowned at her, handing his phone over with some reluctance. He sighed deeply as she unlocked it, knowing exactly what she was going to say.</p><p>“There is no way you are just friends. I’m assuming this is him? The blonde hunk that is currently occupying your lock screen?”</p><p>“Kaaaat, please. I didn’t change that, he did.”</p><p>“Bradley baby, I know you better than you know yourself. I’ve watched you dating before, and you always use that excuse. I’ve seen at least three different girls on that screen and two guys. Make that three guys now.”</p><p>“Your point?”</p><p>“My point is, you can tell me if you like this guy. Be open about your feelings, I’m your sister!”</p><p>“You’re too open, Kat. That’s why you’ve had so many failed relationships.”</p><p>“Touché. But I remember when you blocked your feelings before. I don’t think Layla ever got over you.”</p><p>“Do we have to talk about her, again?”</p><p>“I’m just saying, you have these really rock-solid barriers. I have a feeling that you’ve already made a decision just to spite yourself.”</p><p>“That’s not true.”</p><p>“Honey, it is. When you bumped into me earlier, you were trembling like mad. Your face is still a little red too. Did something happen?”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“Bradley! I’m not going to shut up, so you might as well tell me.”</p><p>“Look, it’s not as simple as you think. You’re going to tell me to go and accept my feelings. To make some fucking declaration or something?! I can’t fucking do that!”</p><p>“Why?!”</p><p>“Because I’m scared. I’m scared shitless. It was just……easier before that happened…”</p><p>“I knew something happened. Why are you scared?”</p><p>“Because…..Because I can’t….get close to someone again like that. It nearly killed me last time, and if I have to live the rest of my life alone, that’s a hell of a lot easier than loving someone.”</p><p>“Bradley, that makes me so sad. You can’t give up on this guy just because of the past. You could be cutting off the best thing in your life.”</p><p>“If that’s the case……then so be it.” Brad took his phone back from Katia, and cleared his photo gallery, including his screensaver.</p><p>“I won’t accept that. Whilst I’m in town, I’m going to fix this.” Katia declared, her love for her brother and her determination driving her to dig her heels into the situation.</p><p>***</p><p>After Lawrence’s untimely interruption had irritated Ryan, he was still curious why he’d come over in the first place. When Brad had left so fast, Ryan just sat back on the sofa and let Lawrence sit beside him, whilst feelings of anger and guilt bubbled inside him.</p><p>“I didn’t know you were living with Brad.” Lawrence said as he sat down.</p><p>“Does it really fucking matter? What do you want Lawrence?”</p><p>“I want you to calm down, before anything else.”</p><p>“S-Sorry. You just…..don’t have the best timing.”</p><p>“The best timing?”</p><p>“Forget it. I’m okay, honestly. What’s up?” Ryan wandered around the living room, feeling slightly too jittery to sit down.</p><p>“Well, if you remember I told you that I’d have a job for you a few weeks ago.”</p><p>“Yes?”</p><p>“The time will come very soon, and I need to know that you’ll be emotionally and physically well to perform the action that  I require.”</p><p>“I’m fine?”</p><p>“I want you and Brad to work with me on this. Can you promise me that you’ll both be up to the task?”</p><p>“That depends…..because Brad won’t want to be around me for a while.”</p><p>“You’ll need to repair that. It’s…..a very taxing job. I can’t have either of you suddenly changing your mind or fighting. Call me when you’re ready, but I need to hear from you this week.” Lawrence stood up and trudged to the door, leaving Ryan frowning against the back of the sofa. Lawrence was still being cryptic about the job, and it was harder trying to involve Brad after their altercation. As Lawrence left, Ryan put his jacket on and checked the time. It was nearing late afternoon, and he had to take over Tara’s shift at the café. Knowing that Brad would also be working the same hours, he shuddered to himself and berated his actions, before finally gaining the courage to go to work. When he entered the café he relieved Tara of her duties and took an apron, avoiding eye contact with his friend as he threw himself into work.</p><p>A pretty brunette came over to the counter as Ryan served drinks, and when she smiled warmly at him he was slightly confused.</p><p>“Hey. It’s Ryan, right?” She asked, leaning over the counter a little too far.</p><p>“Yes? Can I help you?”</p><p>“Maybe I can help you. Are you single?” Ryan frowned at her question, wondering what his response was. Brad crossed his arms from the other side of the counter, rolling his eyes at Katia’s tactics. He knew she was trying to make him angry, but he didn’t react.</p><p>“Yeah, I am.” Ryan finally responded.</p><p>“Then, would you join me for a drink tonight?”</p><p>“No offence but…..I don’t know you…”</p><p>“Oh, I’m sorry. I’m Katia. I’m new around here. I used to live in London.”</p><p>“And you want to go out because…?”</p><p>“Isn’t it obvious? You’re like the most gorgeous guy I’ve seen around here. Plus, it’s just a drink. No expectations. I just couldn’t resist, because I’m such an open person you see..” Katia shot her brother a glare, but maintained eye contact with Ryan.</p><p>“Uhhh……okay then…..is 8PM okay?”</p><p>“Perfect. Here, take my number. And for you, I’ll be there at 7PM.” Katia winked and handed Ryan a piece of paper, before heading out of the door. Ryan blinked, slightly bewildered and disorientated. As he cleaned tables, he was unaware of Brad cornering Katia outside the café.</p><p>“Katia, what the fuck?!” Brad chased after his sister, glaring as she smirked.</p><p>“What’s your problem?”</p><p>“You’re being a bitch. Why would you ask him out?!”</p><p>“I don’t see anyone stopping me! And besides, you’re the one being a prick to him. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt him to have a night out with someone who actually likes him.”</p><p>“You don’t like him! You’re doing this to make me mad!”</p><p>“No, I think he’s hot. And I’m not going to pounce on him. I just think he deserves a nice time, and if we click why should it bother you? He has a right to see people, he’s single. Stop being a child.”</p><p>“A child?! I’m trying to protect him! He’s not a fucking object for you to use! He’s really sensitive, and you’re going to hurt him.”</p><p>“I’m not going to hurt him, I promise. Bradley, you’re worrying for no reason. I mean, it’s not like you love him or anything. Just relax, I’ll make him happy.” Katia patted his shoulder and sauntered off. Brad stood outside the café, falling back against the window. When his curls hit the cool glass, he sighed deeply and looked at the floor, his entire body filling with regret.</p><p>
  <em>“I should’ve kissed you, and now I’ve lost you.”</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Crossed Wires</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Hello all! This chapter is a little bit shorter than usual, but I had to cram in a lot of plot here to make way for the next very long chapter, which will be Mallick's wedding! Please enjoy, and apologies if this is extremely conversation and plot heavy!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>With Katia’s interference setting Brad’s nerves on edge, the next week was an even bigger challenge than he wanted. He barely saw Ryan at home, only at work, and when they did cross paths at home they didn’t speak. It was awkward to say the least, but Brad also had to listen to his sister babbling endlessly about him. It had only been a week since Katia and Ryan had gone out on a few dates, but as Brad sat opposite his sister in the café, he stirred his drink and sighed deeply as she started telling yet another story.</p><p>“We went out to that fancy French restaurant last night!”</p><p>“Oh? I thought French food gave you gas?” Brad sneered, nursing his cup.</p><p>“Well it’s not like Ryan cares.”</p><p>“Yeah, of course he doesn’t.”</p><p>“But he’s still sad. He won’t open up to me.”</p><p>“Are you surprised? You’ve know him for what, a week?”</p><p>“It’s not about time. It’s about connection.”</p><p>“And you have a solid connection with him, do you?”</p><p>“Maybe. Like I’d tell you if I did. You’re jealous enough as it is.”</p><p>“Fuck you Katia. I’m sick of listening to this crap. I know exactly what you’re doing, and it won’t work. If you hurt Ryan over this, I won’t speak to you again. Anyway, I’ve got chores to do at home. I’ll call you later.” Brad declared, grabbing his coat and heading out before Katia could protest.</p><p>Ten minutes later, Brad reached his house after a very frosty walk. The temperature was dropping outside, and when he let himself in, the atmosphere inside was equally chilly. Ryan was watching television before his late shift, and Brad had mis coordinated when he’d be home. That meant there would be a two hour period of silence, the two of them hadn’t faced the situation of being alone together since their fumble. After several attempts of trying to talk to Brad in the past, Ryan had given up and repaid him the same silent treatment. Katia had also kept her connection to Brad secret, so he had no reason to suspect that her interest was faked. As he flicked through different channels, Brad lingered in the kitchen, trying to breach the silence but still nervous to do so. He grabbed two cans of soda from the fridge and wandered over to the sofa, looking at his friend.</p><p>“Hey.”</p><p>“Hi.”</p><p>“Um…..you want a drink?” Brad offered a can, earning only a nod from his housemate. As he tossed the can, Ryan didn’t look in his direction but caught it as it flew through the air. Brad gingerly sat beside him, opening his own can.</p><p>“What are you watching?”</p><p>“Stuff. Nothing interesting.”</p><p>“Ryan….”</p><p>“Brad you don’t have to talk to me. I know you’d rather just stay silent.”</p><p>“I’m sorry….”</p><p>“You don’t need to apologize either. I’m looking at apartments this week, so you won’t have to deal with this.”</p><p>“That’s not necessary…..”</p><p>“It is. I’m seeing someone now, so I want to have my own place.”</p><p>Brad flinched a little at the unsaid mention of his sister, the fact still stinging painfully every time he heard the words. It was a struggle to keep his feelings hidden, so he nodded and gulped a little.</p><p>“You’re seeing someone? That’s great.” Brad spoke through internal gritted teeth.</p><p>“It’s early days. But she’s nice.”</p><p>“Well, I’m glad you found someone nice.” Scratching his head a little, Brad looked away. Even though his words weren’t entirely genuine, it seemed to get through to his friend.</p><p>“Brad. I’m sincerely sorry for what happened between us. It was a stupid mistake.” Ryan said suddenly, making Brad jump slightly.</p><p>“Mm…”</p><p>“I miss you, you know. I miss my best friend.”</p><p>“I miss you too.”</p><p>“Being with Katia, it makes me see that I shouldn’t be so childish about things. So, would you ever consider being my friend again?” Ryan asked pleadingly, finally facing his friend, who had a strange expression across his face. After a few seconds, Brad looked back at him and held out his pinkie, smiling softly when Ryan linked with him. The small act made Ryan outstretch his arm, beckoning Brad for a hug. Brad launched at him, nestling against his shirt and closing his eyes as he cursed quietly to himself. Their friendship had been repaired, but at what cost? Brad felt that he’d lost any chance of reconciliation and as he rested against soft fabric he bit his lip.</p><p>
  <em>Please come back to me, Ryan. </em>
</p><p>***</p><p>Later in the evening, Ryan had to detach himself from his best friend and join Katia at a restaurant. As always, it was hard to drag himself away from Brad’s warmth, but had to remind himself of his new feelings for someone else. Or perhaps, he couldn’t understand how he was feeling about Katia. When he’d showered and changed into nicer clothes, he headed to the restaurant with mixed feelings. Katia looked beautiful in a sparkly dress and heels, but as he joined her at their table, he tapped his fork lightly against his glass.</p><p>“Ry, you okay?” Katia asked softly, ordering a bottle of wine.</p><p>“Yeah. Just….it doesn’t matter.”</p><p>“Hey, you can tell me.”</p><p>“Well……I had a fight with my best friend. Actually…..it wasn’t even a fight…”</p><p>“An altercation?”</p><p>“Yes! We weren’t speaking for a while, but we made up earlier. I missed him so much, and now we’re friends again I can’t stop this feeling…”</p><p>“What was the altercation about?”</p><p>“I…..tried to kiss him…”</p><p>“Ohhhh. That makes sense.” Katia smirked softly to herself, pouring a glass of wine for them. She leaned forward, encouraging him to continue.</p><p>“Yeah….but then he just…..avoided me. I know that he doesn’t feel the same way that I do. But the truth is….I can’t see you anymore Katia.”</p><p>“No?”</p><p>“I’m stupid to keep hoping that one day he’ll feel the same. But….I have to believe that because I’m in love with him.”</p><p>“Ryan sweetheart, I haven’t been entirely honest with you.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“You’re such a lovely guy. And I would definitely pursue a relationship with you.  But the thing is…..I asked you out for two reasons. The first, to make you happy and have some fun. But…..mostly because I’m Brad’s sister…..and I knew you’d never fall for someone else.”</p><p>“What the fuck?!”</p><p>“Don’t be mad. I didn’t do this to spite either of you. I wanted Brad to confess his feelings, but he’s a stubborn asshole. But when he knew I liked you, he changed. He is so angry with me, because he thinks he’s lost you forever.”</p><p>“Lost me?”</p><p>“Oh my god, I need to knock your heads together. He loves you too, Ryan. But he’ll never let himself be happy. He’s insecure, but that didn’t stop him falling for you. Don’t give up on him.”</p><p>“Wow…”</p><p>“Please, don’t let me separate the two of you. It’s criminal, when you both clearly love each other so deeply, more than I can understand.”</p><p>“Katia……thank you!” Ryan got up and hugged her, hearing her chuckle lightly behind his shoulder.</p><p>“Now, I have a date with this beautiful wine. Go home, go spend time with him. But do not tell him I told you this, he’ll kill me.”</p><p>Ryan smiled widely and gave Katia some money for the meal, before bolting home. Even though he wanted to hold Brad in his arms and tell him that he loved him, he held off as he hung his jacket up. As it was late evening, Brad was already in bed watching a movie. Ryan knocked the door lightly and peered around, his dazzling smile startling Brad.</p><p>“Hey, I thought you were on a date?” Brad asked, confused.</p><p>“Yeaaah, but she said she didn’t want to date anymore.”</p><p>“Huh? Why?”</p><p>“Ohh she…..said she found someone else.”</p><p>“Typical.” Brad rolled his eyes, watching Ryan perch on the end of the bed.</p><p>“What are you watching?”</p><p>“Insidious. Do you want to join me?” Brad smiled softly when Ryan stripped down to his boxers and crawled into bed next to him. They gravitated towards each other, and Brad rested comfortably against his bare chest. Ryan looked down at him, biting his lip a little.</p><p>“Brad?”</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“It’s Mallick’s wedding next week. Will you still come with me?”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“I’ll talk to Tara, set her straight about those weird rumours about us.”</p><p>“R-Ryan you don’t have to..” Brad stumbled over his words, causing Ryan to look at him in alarm.</p><p>“Brad, are you okay?”</p><p>“I was so horrible to you…” Tears streamed down Brad’s cheeks, and Ryan tightened his grip around him.</p><p>“Hey, hey it’s okay. You weren’t mean. I made you uncomfortable.”</p><p>“I wasn’t uncomfortable! I….I….”</p><p>“Brad…” Ryan fell back a little as he was suffocated in a deathly tight hug. He ran his hands over Brad’s back, trying to soothe him.</p><p>“I wasn’t uncomfortable. I wasn’t ready. I can’t……give in yet. I want to, I want to so fucking badly. Just give me time…”</p><p>“I’ll always wait for you. I’ll be right here, Brad.” Ryan uttered gently, still holding the smaller man tightly in his arms. Neither of them let go of each other all night, and slept in positions that sent unbearable aches through their arms. But it was clear to Ryan that he needed to go slow, tenderly taking care of the man that he loved.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Drunken Shenanigans</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Hey all! I haven't been writing for a while, but I finally had some free time amongst Uni work and such, so I hope you enjoy this chapter! It's a bit of silly one lol but it details some of the events that did (and didn't) happen at Mallick's bachelor party!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dressing quickly, Brad checked the clock and realized he was running out of time. It was late evening, and Mallick’s bachelor party had finally rolled around. Even though it wasn’t his wedding, Brad still felt jittery. He’d not touched alcohol in months, and he was a notorious bad drunk. Once he’d woken up on an inflatable alligator, in a millionaire’s garden, holding a plastic flamingo. He’d lost his phone, and the majority of his clothes were gone, apart from a flower garland and a pair of bright green boxers. The worst thing was that he had no recollection of how he’d got there, and it took him six hours to trudge back to his fraternity house. He vowed this time not to let things get out of hand. </p><p>“Hey, you ready to go?” Ryan asked, leaning against the doorframe. He was wearing a smart black shirt and pale jeans, both items hugging his frame and emphasising his muscles. Brad bit his lip a little and nodded, grabbing his phone.</p><p>“Who else did Mallick invite?” Brad questioned as they left the apartment and locked the door.</p><p>“Well…..Bobby.”</p><p>“Oh god. Prepare for speeches all night.”</p><p>“Ahh, he’ll be okay.” Ryan smiled as they reached the bar, Brad lingering a little too long outside.</p><p>“Ryan?”</p><p>“Mmm?”</p><p>“If….things get too crazy tonight….promise me that you won’t leave me. Don’t let me end up in a hedge or something…”</p><p>“I’ve got your back.” Ryan grinned, opening the door for him. Brad breathed out in relief and stepped inside, followed by his friend. As they stepped inside, they heard Mallick cheer from another table and he waved them over.</p><p>“Ryan! Brad! Over here!” Mallick beckoned them to the table. When the boys sat down, they nodded politely at familiar and new faces. Bobby raised his glass of white wine, and Mallick smiled widely. There was a blonde young man with spiky hair sitting next to Mallick, and beside him an older man with black long hair. An elderly man sat on the end of the table, nursing an almost empty pint glass.</p><p>“Ry, Brad, this is Liam, my little brother.” Mallick nudged Liam’s shoulder and he smiled at them, but his rebellious band shirt and ripped jeans indicated that he’d rather be elsewhere. Brad nodded at him, tilting his head ninety degrees.</p><p>“Hi Liam. I like your guyliner.” Brad smiled, which prompted a larger grin from the juvenile boy.</p><p>“Thanks! Nice shirt.” Liam smirked as his brother rolled his eyes and continued introductions.</p><p>“This is my dad, Jerry, and my brother in law, Paul.” Mallick took a sip of his drink as the other two men waved, everyone smiling politely at each other.</p><p>“Right, what’s everyone having? I’m gonna get the shots in.” Liam stood up, holding his hand out to Brad. Brad raised his eyebrow, but admired Liam’s black nail varnish.</p><p>“Come to the bar with me. Let’s leave the old guys to talk.” Brad hesitantly took Liam’s hand as he was dragged to the bar, leaving Mallick holding back his laughter at Ryan’s miffed face.</p><p>“Relax, Ryan. He’s not gonna try something on Brad. Even if he does, he’ll forget it tomorrow. Don’t be jealous of Liam.”</p><p>“Who said I was jealous?”</p><p>“Your face.”</p><p>“Shut up, Mallick.” Ryan took the bottle of wine that sat in the middle of the table and poured himself a large glass, ignoring Mallick’s teasing comments. </p><p>***</p><p>Five rounds of drinks later, Jerry had already gone home due to exhaustion, and Tara had popped into the bar to have a quick chat and wish Mallick luck. As soon as she’d arrived, Tara had departed after a gin and tonic. Bobby was on his fifth glass of wine, and he’d been drinking tequila rose bombs in between sips. He was already swaying sitting down, and Mallick grinned as he launched into another drunken speech.</p><p>“Soooo, why is it that I don’t get discounts at the store?! I say to the laaady, listen here, doooo you know who I aaam? I’m Booorrrby Dagen!” Bobby slurred, hiccupping as he said his name.</p><p>“Are you famous or something?” Paul asked, sipping a mojito.</p><p>“Exccuuuuuse me?” Bobby faced Paul with dismay over his face, making Mallick, Brad and Ryan smirk at each other.</p><p>“Haven’t you seen his books at the store? His face is everywhere.” Brad shot Paul a look that said “Don’t dig any further, he’ll never shut up.”</p><p>“Oh! Oh right. Yes, my apologies Bobby.” Paul smiled back at Brad, mouthing “Thank you.”</p><p>“Anyone want any more tequila?” Liam asked, with Bobby almost launching at him to get the bottle.</p><p>“MINE!” Bobby swiped, drinking straight from the bottle.  Mallick frowned, patting Bobby on the back.</p><p>“You wanna slow down, buddy?”</p><p>“No way! More booze! I’m buying!” Bobby staggered up to the bar and tripped over his own shoelaces. Ryan sighed and patted Mallick’s shoulder as they both stood up.</p><p>“I got it. Right come on Bobby.” Ryan dragged Bobby off the floor, sitting him on a stool as he ordered water for him. Liam sidled up to Brad, who was already starting to feel dizzy from the alcohol.</p><p>“Hey, Brad?”</p><p>“Yes?”</p><p>“What’s Ryan like in the bedroom?” Liam asked innocently, ducking when Brad spat vodka all over the table. Mallick laughed madly at his brother’s confused expression.</p><p>“I b-beg your pardon?”</p><p>“Is he good? Oh god I bet those thighs could crack a walnut.”</p><p>“Liam stop, I’m gonna choke.” Mallick wiped his eyes as he cried laughing, patting Brad on the back in reassurance.</p><p>“W-We’re not…..together…” Brad blushed madly.</p><p>“No, they won’t do us the courtesy. Actually Liam, maybe this party does need livening up. I’ll get more drinks, I think Brad needs the distraction.” Mallick smiled softly and ordered a few rounds of shots on his bar app, the once quiet night already descending into a chaotic mess.</p><p>***</p><p>As the stars started to awaken from their hiding place outside, inside the bar the swirl of alcohol and loud music was descending into a club environment. Mallick’s idea of quiet drinks was now 33 pints of beer, 10 trays of tequila rose bombs, 10 vodka and tonics, 8 bottles of tequila and 1 bottle of sambuca, mixed between 6 men. As all of the men drank, they heard the swing of the door, and Lawrence glanced over as he stepped inside. </p><p>“Good evening gentleman. I don’t remember hearing about this gathering?” Lawrence put his hand on Mallick’s shoulder, smiling deviously.</p><p>“Lawrence! I didn’t think you’d want to come…..it’s my bachelor party…” Mallick said nervously, having not spoken to him very often.</p><p>“Ah, well I only came in for a drink. But with this kind of entertainment, how can I refuse? Is this seat taken?” Lawrence perched next to Ryan, nodding at everyone.</p><p>“Just going to the toilet guys, I’ll be back.” Ryan smiled softly, heading to the bar. Brad looked after him, then flinched wildly as Bobby draped over his back, bottle in hand.</p><p>“Ya knooooow Brad, you gotta let it goo. I know thaaaa look.”</p><p>“What the fuck? You stink of tequila, get off.” Brad shoved Bobby into Lawrence’s lap, to which Bobby was elated with joy as he landed in Lawrence’s unwilling arms.</p><p>“Ooooh…..hello doc…” Bobby giggled, throwing his arms around Lawrence’s neck.</p><p>“How much have you guys had?”</p><p>“Lost count….” Brad hiccupped a little, looking around at everyone. Mallick stared back, tapping the table a little.</p><p>“We should go do something else. Lawrence, you up for it?”</p><p>“Why not, I guess someone has to look after this….man.” Lawrence sighed and helped Bobby up. As everyone headed off, the next few hours would only be remembered in a drunken haze.</p><p>***</p><p>With the taste of alcohol and the stench of sweat drowning his senses, Brad groaned as he woke up. His lips felt very dry, and as the world started to appear in clearer focus, he almost jumped out of his skin. Yet again, he could barely remember what had happened when he’d left the bar with everyone, and he was in a house he could not identify. The wallpaper was magnolia, and he wrinkled his nose when he could see someone had vomited in the corner. Was it him? Stretching, he hit someone’s arm laying next to him.</p><p>“Braaaad? Is that you?” Ryan stirred, coughing a little as he started to wake up. Brad’s eyes widened as he noticed both of them were completely naked, bar Ryan’s shirt draped around his neck. Ryan had a horrible headache, and as he rubbed his forehead, Brad thought he might pass out.</p><p>“R-Ryan…..what happened last night…?” Brad whispered.</p><p>“Um…..the last thing I remember was Lawrence suggesting another club…..and something happened with Bobby…”</p><p>“Bobby?”</p><p>“Someone call me?” Bobby emerged from the covers, also naked.</p><p>“W-What is going on?! This is so wrong…” Brad started hyperventilating, so Ryan sidled up to him and hugged him.</p><p>“Oh relax. I wanted to cuddle with you boys, but you seemed pretty preoccupied, so I just laid here.” Bobby grinned, standing up in full naked glory without a care in the world.</p><p>“Preoccupied?!” Brad shouted.</p><p>“Are they still at it?” Mallick emerged from the bathroom, brushing his teeth.</p><p>“WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?!” Brad screeched at him.</p><p>“Woah, calm down Brad. It’s too early for shouting. Bobby, you got any mouthwash?” Mallick asked as he scratched his head. Bobby followed him to the bathroom, and the faint sound of water could be heard. Brad clutched his chest, breathing heavily.</p><p>“Brad, hey. You’re okay. I think we’re in Bobby’s house. It’ll be okay.”</p><p>“Ryan…….what are they talking about? Did something happen……between us…?”</p><p>“No, they’re just teasing. I would’ve remembered, and I wouldn’t do that to you.”</p><p>“Thank you…”</p><p>“Come here.” Ryan drew Brad into his arms and hugged him tightly, stroking his hair gently. He felt so cold, and they’d only slept with one tiny blanket over them. Even though they were both suspicious of what they’d done last night, Ryan had vowed to protect him and keep him safe, so he knew nothing could’ve happened. Brad relaxed considerably against him, relishing the fact that Ryan was so comfortable and that he trusted him more than anyone else in the world. As they cuddled, Brad’s jaw dropped as he looked over Ryan’s shoulder.</p><p>“Okay I’m glad you guys are okay, but uhhh……could I have some help please?” Lawrence asked, both of his hands cuffed to Bobby’s bed post.</p><p> </p>
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<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Mallick Knows Best</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Hi everyone! I had a little writing block on this story, but I finally broke through it :) And finally, a lil reunion for the boys because I have been waiting to write it ;) Please enjoy! &lt;3</p>
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    <p>A week after their magnificent hangovers, everyone was feeling considerably better as the morning of Brit and Mallick’s wedding arrived. It was a very gloomy, rainy day but luckily the wedding was being held inside. At 9:00am, Brad was sitting in Mallick’s hotel room, sharing an early glass of prosecco with him as he put on his wedding suit. Ryan was downstairs, still sleeping soundly in his own room.</p><p>“Hey, how are you feeling?” Brad asked as he sipped from his flute.</p><p>“I’m nervous. But I’m excited. She’s my whole world, Brad.”</p><p>“Yeah, I know. She’s probably thinking that about you, too.” Brad smiled softly, getting up help Mallick with his tie as he struggled slightly. Mallick gripped his arm as he helped.</p><p>“Brad. Thank you for being here. But……you should know something.”</p><p>“Oh?” He raised his eyebrows as Mallick patted his shoulder.</p><p>“Brit and I, we knew we loved each other long before we said anything. She made the first move on me, and now I know that I never should’ve waited as long as I did. Don’t let love slip through your fingers. Go get him.” Mallick goaded softly, patting his back again as he moved past him to grab his jacket. Brad perched back on the bed, rubbing the back of his neck slightly. He understood Mallick’s meaning perfectly, and the message was finally starting to sink in. Today was a day to appreciate love, and that was exactly what he planned to do.</p><p>As the clock struck 10, Mallick had changed into a smart black suit, the cast on his arm was smaller now and he was able to hide most of his under his sleeve. Brad helped him with a few adjustments so his tie was neat and his collar was tidy, and he headed downstairs to the wedding suite. After choosing a hotel to hold their wedding, Mallick was happy as he admired the décor as he headed inside.</p><p>His family and friends had been busy decorating the night before, and their work had paid off nicely. The suite overlooked the hotel garden, with large glass windows slightly open to allow a light breeze to run through the white lace curtains. The garden was in full bloom, with white roses standing in neatly pruned glory. An altar sat just in front of the windows, breaking an aisle between the 30 chairs placed either side. Along the aisle, there were candles at each end, enclosed in glass bubbles to cast a soft glow over the oakwood floor. Brad had spent hours hanging up white ribbons from the light fixture over the ceiling, to match the silk he’d adorned the chairs with. When he entered the room with Mallick, he’d given his friend a quick reassuring shoulder pat, before heading to his seat at the front. Paul and Liam were already standing next to the registrar, wearing equally smart black suits with small white roses peeping out of their button holes.  Brad felt his smile growing as he watched Mallick walking nervous down the aisle, constantly fiddling with his tie like he’d done previously. As Mallick made it to the altar, Brad jumped as Ryan suddenly appeared in the seat next to him.</p><p>“Hey. Am I late?” Ryan whispered softly, earning a quiet tut from his friend.</p><p>“A little. The music will play in a second.” Brad whispered back, staring at his friend. Ryan was wearing a dark red suit, with a crisp white shirt and black tie. It suited him, but he was a little rumpled from running to the room so quickly. Brad smiled and adjusted his jacket, turning to watch as the music started playing. Ryan turned to watch too, but he ran his hand over Brad’s and gently stroked the top of his knuckles as he did so. Feeling his throat dry up, Brad bit his lip and curled his fingers back over Ryan’s.</p><p>As the guests turned to watch the bride arriving, Mallick’s smile was so wide that it could’ve lit up the room on its own. Brit started to descend down the aisle, her hair was styled into a straight bun, with her fringe curled a little next to her eyes. She’d opted for a short white dress, strapless with lace running down the sides. Paired with her white rose bouquet, she was a perfect vision as she headed towards Mallick, not one nervous step as she went. Her confidence was something to behold, and as the couple held hands at the altar, so many thoughts occurred to one man watching the couple start to speak their vows.</p><p>Brad felt entranced watching Mallick and Brit vow to always love and protect each other. He wasn’t listening to the actual words, but rather remembering the sacrifice the two of them had made to get there. Mallick would never fully recover, from his injury or his addiction. Brit would never forgive herself for her sins, but somehow the two of them had found love in each other. They’d won their game together, and Brad was struggling to think of a couple that were so perfectly matched. Well, he could think of one. It was irritating him that he was supposed to be focused purely on someone else’s wedding day, and all he could think about was Ryan’s hand threaded through his own. He turned to his best friend, still chewing his lip as some of the vows echoed through his head.</p><p>
  <em>Would I always love you, through sickness and in health? Through rock bottom, would I build you up to your greatest heights? Would I stand by your side, as equal? Do I love you unconditionally?</em>
</p><p>Thinking that he’d reached a conclusion to those questions, Brad smiled widely as Ryan squeezed his hand, possibly thinking the same thing. They were both distracted for moment as the registrar declared Brit and Mallick married. A wild wave of clapping erupted as the happy couple started to walk off, the two of them beaming as they headed towards the reception hall. A crazy mass of high-fuelled dancing ensued, and as everyone congratulated the happy couple, the morning slowly seeped into the evening.</p><p>***</p><p>Exhaling happily, Brad leaned back in his chair and smiled widely. The ceremony had been so nice in its simplicity, and he could see the intimacy between Brit and Mallick as they danced. He titled his head to the side, his eyes trained on their movements. The music had been so crazy and fast, that it was a pleasure to watch the newly married couples just swaying softly in each other’s arms, both of them holding complete content across their faces. Resting against his palm, he felt another sigh escape his lips.</p><p>It was a rare occurrence to see everyone from the survivor’s group caught in a moment of happiness, unburdened by their constant demons. Arms looped around waists and shoulders, the spaces closed between couples, and between good friends. The DJ lowered the lights, and a dark blue glow spread across the dancefloor, pairing nicely with the slow music. Eyes still trained on everyone, Brad nodded at Mallick, smiling softly when the latter looked up from Brit’s shoulder. Their love was making Brad happy, to see them both find solace in their movements. Staring up at the ceiling, he suddenly noticed illuminated stars casting twinkling light over the room. It was definitely creating a soothing atmosphere, and as Brad thought quietly to himself, Ryan sat on the chair beside him.</p><p>“Not dancing?” Ryan asked, also looking at Brit and Mallick.</p><p>“I’m not very good, so…”</p><p>“Would you <em>like</em> to dance?”</p><p>“Are you…?” Brad raised his eyebrows at his best friend, watching him curiously as he plucked a daisy out of the centrepiece on the table. He turned back to Brad, smiling softly as he held out the flower to him.</p><p>“Brad, would you do me the honour of dancing with me?” Taking the flower from Ryan’s hand, Brad blushed lightly and nodded, words seem to elude him in that moment. He stood up and followed him to the dancefloor, keeping the flower in his jacket pocket for safekeeping. As they stood together, the song ended, creating a small silence before moving onto the next.</p><p><em>This can’t be love</em> started playing, and Brad scratched the back of his head, his blush radiating at full capacity. Holding out his hand, Ryan beckoned Brad towards him, the two of them holding hands as Ryan rested his other on his waist. Brad put his hand on Ryan’s shoulder and bit his lip, waiting for the next move. When they began to sway, Brad fell out of step a little, but Ryan had a smooth rhythm, which balanced out both of their speeds. Relaxing a little, Brad smiled at him.</p><p>“I didn’t know you could dance so well?” Brad questioned, letting himself be spun around slowly before facing him again.</p><p>“I used to dance, in college.”</p><p>“Really?”</p><p>“Yeah. And you know, you’re better at it than you think.” Ryan smiled back, resting his forehead against Brad’s. His hands slid down to relax at his waist, and Brad moved to drape his arms around Ryan’s neck. He nervously played with his fingers as they rocked gently to the music, neither of them falling out of step with each other. Pulling Brad further into his arms, they embraced tightly and he nestled against his chest. He could heard his heart thumping loudly, and he was sure they were both trembling.</p><p>Drawing away for a moment, Brad placed his hands on Ryan’s shoulders, looking up at him. His beautiful hazel eyes were glittering in the darkness, and for a split second he found himself unable to look away. In turn, Ryan glanced down and smiled softly when he noticed Brad’s pale blue eyes staring at him with intensity. They were sharing a moment of peaceful admiration, listening to the melodic music playing.</p><p>Although Brad had always assumed that Dina would be the only person he’d ever love, his expectations had been shattered into pieces. From the moment he’d met Ryan, he would never have thought that he’d feel the way he did in one single moment. Feeling free for the first time in years, he could finally breathe easily, putting his trust into Ryan. As much as he tried to deny it in the past, he knew that as they danced, he was falling helplessly for his best friend. Ryan’s hands were warm on his waist, and his chest tightened as he stroked his shoulders for moment.</p><p>Similarly, Ryan had written off his love life after Dina. It was impossible to think that he’d love again, his emotions were fragmented and he assumed them to be permanently broken. But Brad threw everything out of perspective, and his once cold heart was bursting with warmth again. He felt so strong, like he’d been repaired. One look into his best friend’s stunning blue eyes, and his entire world was whole again.</p><p>Still looking into each other’s eyes, the light hum of music was slowly beginning to fade, and all Brad could do was stare, taking in every inch of the perfect man in his grasp. Ryan’s hand cupped his face, and they drew closer to each other.</p><p>“Brad, are you happy?” Ryan said softly, running his thumb along his cheek.</p><p>“More than I’ve ever been. I feel…..like I’m walking on air right now…”</p><p>“Me too…”</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“You take my breath away…”</p><p>“Ryan.” Breathing out heavily as he spoke his name, Brad felt like he’d packed so much emotion into one word. He reached up and stroked the back of Ryan’s head, clutching at soft blonde strands. Little by little, the two of them drifted closer, until their lips met and sent chills down their spines. It was a clumsy exchange at first, but their lips found a sweet harmony after a few seconds. Brad slid his hand down to Ryan’s tie, gripping gently. All noise from the outside world drifted away, and an undisturbed moment of pure joy spread through both men’s bodies.</p><p>Only breaking apart for air, both men held each other as they smiled. It had been unexpected for them, but they couldn’t hide how ecstatic they were that it had happened. Brad immediately pressed against his chest as he felt Ryan stroking his back. He was still shaky from the kiss, and the hug was a sweet reassurance, that his feelings were returned. Looking back up at Ryan, Brad was fully aware that his face was red, and he chewed his lip slightly as Ryan grinned.</p><p>“We should..” Ryan gestured towards the door and Brad nodded.</p><p>“Yeah..” Brad felt like his feet didn’t even touch the floor before he was running out of the room, attached to Ryan’s hand.</p><p> </p>
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<a name="section0013"><h2>13. At Last</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Hi all! I haven't been writing for a few days, so I hope this compensates a little! I was hoping to end this story in a chapter so please enjoy this penultimate one! Also, am aware I haven't updated DOD for a bit, hopefully will get around to that today!<br/>Anyway, please enjoy this chapter! Warning, contains sex!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Running back to the hotel room made Brad feel overwhelmed and nervous. Just the feel of Ryan so close to him when they danced, and looking into his beautiful brown eyes was enough to send his stomach into flutters. His legs trembled as he swiped his key, giving the door a sharp budge as he stepped inside with Ryan. There was no hesitation as they kissed again, both of them wriggling out of their suit jackets and ties falling to the floor in a crumpled heap.</p><p>“Shouldn’t we like tell Mallick we’re not gonna be there-“ Brad was interrupted by Ryan steering him towards the bed.</p><p>“Brad, stop talking.” Ryan cupped his face and stroked his cheeks gently, kissing his nose as he felt him blushing hard. Tilting Brad’s chin up with one hand, Ryan placed his free hand on Brad’s lip, stroking gently with his thumb. Still blushing brightly, Brad panted a little at Ryan’s movements, parting his lips as if to invite him in.</p><p>“What are you thinking about?” Brad whispered softly, placing kisses all over Ryan’s fingers.</p><p>“You…”</p><p>“Are you nervous?” Brad’s voice was barely a decibel above a whisper, and he stared at Ryan with a longing in his eyes. Ryan bit his lip lightly, staring back into beautiful blue pools. He held Brad’s hand and moved forward, gently brushing against his nose for a moment. Brad’s hands looped around his  back, and Ryan placed both hands on his face.</p><p>“No.” Ryan said softly. Brad smiled, brushing his nose back. Gently grasping at his back, he closed his eyes and beckoned Ryan forward a little, stroking the back of his neck when their lips brushed again. Brad didn’t run this time, instead he kissed Ryan with every ounce of love he could fathom. It was almost painful, but Ryan’s lips softened the urgency, melting back into Brad’s embrace. As they sat entwined on the hotel bed, Brad moved into his lap, only pulling away briefly before he kissed him again. Reaching out for Ryan’s hands, Brad stroked his fingers as they made out, parting Ryan’s lips as he deepened the kiss.</p><p>“Mm….Brad…” Ryan gripped Brad’s hands as his groans were muffled. Brad was sucking and gently nipping at Ryan’s lower lip, feeling his hands trembling slightly. Separating his lips even more, Brad dared to slip his tongue over Ryan’s, a visible shudder and loud moan emerging from the other man. Feeling his stomach tighten and heat run down his body, Brad panted hard as Ryan fought back against his tongue, the two of them starting slow until they were desperately clutching at each other, finally breaking away for air.</p><p>Brad stroked his arm and leaned close, pressing his lips against Ryan’s neck, running his hand down his chest. He peeled Ryan’s shirt off as he went, sighing lightly. Ryan panted softly and tilted his head back, allowing Brad further access. Grazing extremely sensitive skin around Ryan’s neck with his teeth, Brad explored with his hands, teasing his nipples with his thumbs.</p><p>“B-Brad......!”</p><p>“You’re so sensitive baby...”</p><p>“F-Fuck!” Ryan gasped out as Brad continued down his body, this time replacing his thumbs with his tongue. Laying back against the pillows, Ryan guided Brad back against his lips and unbuttoned his shirt. Spreading his hands over his chest, he felt the faint outline of his scar, feeling a twinge of guilt but too engrossed in pleasuring him to mind. Breaking their kiss, Ryan moved his hand to Brad’s face, tracing his lips again. He was entranced by them, and Brad could tell. He playfully nipped his finger, then took it in his mouth, the action making Ryan groan. Wetting two of Ryan’s fingers with saliva, Ryan kissed him and used his damp fingers to play with Brad’s nipple, tweaking it between his fingertips until he felt it harden.</p><p>“O-Ohhh...Ryan....”</p><p>“Brad....feel what you’re doing to me.....” Ryan guided Brad’s hand into his trousers, moaning when Brad stroked his growing erection.</p><p>“Damn….” Brad threw his open shirt off and fumbled out of his trousers, Ryan following suit as they laid on the bed pressed against each other. Brad remained on top of him, grinding his bulge onto Ryan’s, their boxers still preventing full contact.</p><p>“Brad... h-how....far are we taking this...?” Ryan panted breathlessly.</p><p>“As far as you want to. We can stop here if you want to.”</p><p>“No I...I want to feel.....inside you.” Brad blushed profusely, feeling his cock grow harder, almost painfully so. His boxers flew across the floor, and Ryan climbed on top of him, his dominating frame making Brad pant in anticipation. Leaning onto his body, both men gasped at the feel of their naked flesh on each other, so vulnerable and electrifying. Creating a strong friction, Ryan ground his hips against Brad, making him gasp and grip his arms. The feeling of Ryan’s heaviness was overwhelmingly sexy, but he needed more. He gripped Ryan’s hand and plunged his mouth over his fingers, sucking hard like he was running out of time. When he released his hand he bit his lip and spread his legs.</p><p>“I-I’ve never...done this....so tell me what feels good, yeah?” Ryan said softly, pressing a kiss to Brad’s neck. He circled his butt, grabbing one side before running his fingers over his hole. He teased him by applying a little pressure, rubbing two fingers over the quivering muscle before gently slipping one finger inside.</p><p>“A-hah...” Brad moaned as he gripped Ryan’s wrist. He felt himself clenching and relaxing around Ryan’s finger, desperate for movement. The sound of Brad’s moans spurred Ryan to move his finger, building up a rhythm, until Brad was gasping beneath him. His second finger slid in beside it and he increased his speed, but when he looked up the sight was enough to make him moan. Brad was panting hard, his eyes were fully dilated and his mouth was slightly agape, Ryan had never seen him look so different. Leaning forward, he captured Brad’s lips in a frenzy of delirium, holding back yells when he felt Brad’s hand on his penis. Stroking Ryan for a few seconds, Brad let go of him and rummaged in the bedside table. Though he could understand why a hotel would stock condoms, he grinned slightly when he found lube in there too. He pushed Ryan onto his back and rested comfortably against his leg, tearing the wrapper and rolling the condom over him with ease. Ryan watched, feeling his chest rise and fall faster than it ever had.</p><p>“Ry…….i’ll take care of you. I promise.” The tenderness in Brad’s voice made Ryan sit up to hold his waist, pressing kisses over his face. He’d been a little scared to be sexually involved with someone again, but Brad was so different. When he felt him lowering over his penis, he realized that one thing was missing from his life with Dina. It had never been intimate with Dina, it was just a spiteful flurry of sex. He’d never felt so close with anyone, and feeling every single inch of Brad, he had to stop himself from making a sudden dangerous declaration. But as the latter bounced lightly on his hips, he gripped his shoulders and thrust up to meet his movements. Their movements grew faster, and with each passion-fuelled drive, Ryan couldn’t hold his tongue.</p><p>“Brad…..I love you…” He whimpered lightly. His words were strewn with moans and heavy panting, but Brad heard the admission. He leaned forward and kissed him deeply, pulling away to look into his eyes.</p><p>“I love you too, Ryan.” Feeling all of the tension leave his body all at once, Ryan cried out softly as he filled the condom, his actions paired with Brad spilling across his chest. Cleaning up and discarding everything, Brad lifted off him and rested against his arm, panting softly. Ryan was still trembling, biting his lip at his former best friend.</p><p>“B-Brad….?”</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“I love you so much……I’m so happy I think I might die…”</p><p>“Oh my god, you’re so extra. But I love you too.” Brad grinned and snuggled against his chest, basking against the afterglow. He heard Ryan giggle slightly and he looked up at him, his eyebrows knitted together in confusion.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“I’m glad Bobby isn’t here this time.” Ryan smirked, bringing back drunken memories that Brad had desperately tried to expunge. His hit his arm with a smile and settled back down, drifting off to the sound of his heartbeat.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Was it any good? I'll continue like I said if anyone actually reads this lmao!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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